golden child's story was awesome!... I fuck up at work all the time, on purpose usually. I've stolen shit, got fucked up at work (just the other day, I bought a bottle of liquor, went out to my car, drank the whole bottle, and came back in, all in the course of 15 minutes -- don't worry, it was weak liquor; Boone's Farm), ate food, and lately .. you know those cardboard cases over top of DVD's? Like, there'll be a DVD but there'll be ANOTHER case over top of that? I've been switching all of them up, putting the cases over top of the DVD's without the cases. So, I'll put the RIGHTEOUS KILL slipcase overtop of PRETTY WOMAN. I do all this shit, and I tell my boss about it and he laughs and he's like "Why you telling me this shit man? Don't tell me this shit!" And we laugh. He's my boss but he's not the OWNER OF THE STORE, so he doesn't really give a fuck, because the store is always so fucked up by the other shifts and costumers that my "contributions" don't really matter. He's an ex-con (!) who got put in prison in Florida for dealing crack and now he's a manager, he's awesome, he looks exactly like Scarface, he's always doing this fucked up shit, he put a brick through some woman's back car window the other day when she was in a video store because she yelled at him for throwing lettuce on the ground. He's so fucked up. It's hilarious. I've torn up the floor there.. that wasn't on purpose.. one time I spilled a huge pallet of wine, all this pretty expensive shit, the entire floor was covered in red wine. It was great. I've probably cost that store tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of dollars worth of damage. But I'm a good worker so they don't care.

I once forgot to turn the sign around so the shop was 'closed' for half a business day. And no one ever found out about it.

I left the phone logged in when I left the office once, which caused much frustration to all the people who rang after 5:00 pm, when I left the office. I'm pleased with myself.

Sometimes I'm a little dyslexic.

At the pharmaceutical manufacturer where I was temping in place of someone on maternity leave, and her computer contained all of the FDA reports they are required to maintain.

well, I went to format a floppy and typed FORMAT C.

After realizing it wasn't a virus and I'd typed the wrong drive, I sheepishly went to the mgr, ready to leave without even getting my timecard signed.

She informed me I wasn't leaving that easily but would be staying to recreate all the documents. So I worked there for several more months.

"messing up" implies that I'm capable of error.

that said, I was once sued for ONE-MEEELLION DOLLARS by a disgrunted ex-employee of the corporation for which I was employed.

they fucked with the wrong bot.

needless to say, I had the last laugh.



I'm intrigued. tell me more. this time...slowly.

this shit is fucked up.

Two Roads diverged in a Yellow Wood


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there,
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost (1874–1963)

when i did a summer job cleaning offices, i forgot to place new toilet paper. the next day i got yelled at because an important ceo guy had been stuck on the toilet without paper. i had a hard time not laughing.

i messed up many things the first days on that job, mainly because i wasn't told what to do, so the next day i'd get all this shit about 'you didn't do this and this and this', when i had no idea i had to do them... ah well.

I once told some old lady to eat a dick.....nah, but I wanted to.

I've messed up a few times, but a friend of mine that used to work here (he got fired for reasons that are related to this thread) took the cake.

We work in shipping, and he was so confident he wouldn't make a mistake that he would try and do two orders at once, and he would end up mixing the shipping labels. He did this a few times, sending stuff that was supposed to go to California to Georgia, and then subsequently vice versa.

The finally straw that got him the boot was an order that called for a 2 foot antenna. He sent a 6 foot antenna instead. In case you don't know much about shipping, that is the difference between sending a small box FedEx and having to build a crate and call in a truck.

I crashed a golf cart into a chain link fence at 3am when I was as security guard.. the windscreen was limo-tint black, worse then wearing sunglasses, and I was being lazy not wanting to look out the side..

hit that shit unexpectedly at full speed, and we tweaked that cart to be a little faster to begin with..

hey, chain link is fucking invisible at night, all you can see is the poles..

bruised this shit out of my ribs and my pride.



and I had to buy the fucking golf cart of the city for 500 bucks...

I walked out of my last job.

I was broke, living with only my mother, and paying bills up the fucking asshole. I paid for groceries all the time, and cellphone, and internet... and when I went to get something to eat on my lunch break, I found I didn't have a single dollar in the bank account. Being a hormonal 17 year old girl, I cried my entire break, and my dickhead manager who had verbally harassed me in the past told me I was worthless to anyone and anything. So I walked out. My mom picked up my last check for me.

walking off a bullshit job because of a dickhead boss is the american way!

I remember the last time i did that, it was the best! went a bought a newspaper, a pack of smokes and waited for my bus to show up as if I DIDN'T just quit my job, but rather as if I had won some kind of monumental victory (which in my mind, I did)

Yeah, it was a job at Albertson's for minimum wage. I was working 40+ hours a week, which is illegal because I was a minor at the time. But I needed the money. My managers verbally harassed me all the time because I was a teenager. I felt really empowered when I walked out those doors.

What? That makes sense.

Yeah, I fuck up at work all the time. We mostly just smoke weed in the walk-in. Or we make pizzas to eat and take food home.

I've never messed up all that much apart from rookie mistakes.

Once I took far longer than I should have to strap metal carts for the post office to palets.