How Often Do You Masturbate?
 

Vote.

if i could i would sit at home all day and masturbate but currently i can only manage 3-4 times a week. i'm trying to increase by beating off everytime i have an urge to check this fucking forum

How do we vote? By PM? & what are our choices?

now

edit: when someone is making a poll, you have to wait a couple minutes while they write the choices.

2-4 times a week. I haven't had actual sex in 5 years, so this is all I have to make me feel good.

it fucking freaks me out so many people are touching themselves when they come to this forum

well, I didn't realize I would get such candid responses

Well, I have to release tension somehow. (ha ha)

This is what get's me going:

"The ethereal harmonies of the laserpipe orchestra echoed off the solid diamond walls of the Galactic Overlord's pleasure chamber. As I slowly made my way through the gyrating throng of human, plasmid, and arachnoid revelers, the arcanite sensors on my integrated detectograph started going haywire. "Just as I thought," I thought. "She's here."

It was another two hundred ticks until I saw her, dancing languidly with a spice runner out of Betelgeuse VII. He was a hulking brute, with a wickedly edged macrosword slung over the back of his metaluminum armor, the kind that would have struck cold fear into the heart of a lesser man. But I was no lesser man. "Mind if I cut in?" I intoned, silencing the smuggler's enraged grumble of objection with a stealthy blast from my deliminator rifle.

"What took you so long?" cooed Abraxxia, her words subtly quavering with the universal inflections of desire. Ignoring my own fierce need, I furiously scanned my surroundings for danger -- she was crafty, and I knew that the slightest mistake would prove fatal. Not just for myself, but for the entire United Alliance. Inevitably, my gaze settled back upon the smooth curves of skin that peeked out from under her transparent holodress. How many rounds of Uranian Megasex would it take before she surrendered the alloy?"

іHott!

Damn, I wish I had a girlfriend right now.

:confused: OK, I can see where you're going with this and the answer is no. Sorry.

ah i just broke up with my girlfriend and it's wonderful. it was a perfectly clean break and everyone is happier now

Gosh. :eek:

it helps me get to sleep

Sex about every 2 weeks, and 2-4 times a week regularly. It's hard to get to sleep without it

hahahahahahahaha

the "i'm doing it RIGHT NOW!" option is the shit!!!!

2-4 times a week...i have lady problems

When you post something like that, how can we help ourselves?

Yeah, that shit is white-hot.