Anyone have thoughts about someone being, trans-racial?

I believe this lady straight-up cray cray!

shit.. that sucks.. I'm just hoping to get busy soon so I can crawl out of this funk...





she claimed to be a black woman.. the DNA test determined THAT was a lie..

you people need to learn to sit down & just be, or practice meditation, and just let go of the incessant monkey mind, instead of trying to suppress it with chemicals or run away from it with constant busy-ness.

before someone accuses me of proselytizing buddhism, the catholics used to call that contemplative prayer-- i'm sure the ortodoxos have something similar. or try sufism.

summer is the best time to sit down and just look at a fucking tree.there is nothing more delicious than nothing.

Dude, I'm an Orthodox Christian, only the monks and chaste old ladies possibly spend more time in prayer, meditation, and spiritual contemplation than I do. Those things keep me sane about 90% of my spare time, but the 10% can really drag me down the rabbit's hole sometimes :(

meditation is non-thinking though. it's not good-thinking but outside-of-thinking. just zero. nothing. it's hard as fuck at first; once it's a habit its easy to plugin like neo and escape the matrix. agent smith becomes irrelevant.

Yes Daniel-san but the problem is that inevitably the brain has to turn itself back on and do functional human things, and if your brain has dysfunctional hardware issues, then that can be a problem.

I appreciate your efforts, I'm just venting here.. is what it is and I can only just continue to navigate my own experiences without totally falling apart. Indeed, its been almost ten years since the last time that happened so I'm sure I'll be fine, but then again, that is sort of the part that fucks with me the most lately, the very mediocrity and inevitability of it all. Sometimes its more human to just hit rock bottom than to so precariously try to balance everything all the damned time.

i know. that's why you need to sit and look and listen to that tree/wall/whatever right now, so that when you come back to your dysfunctional brain you do it with a little bit more space between it and you, ha ha ha.

i'm not denying the pain of dysfunction, just saying it can be left behind. because even eufunction (is that a word?) causes suffering.

also to note-- to stop thinking is not to be unconscious. you can be totally conscious but not-thinking-- the chatterbox is OFF. you know that state of flow that people talk about for peak performance? that's it. proof that you can do functional human things with it-- but it takes practice not to fall off that bike.

seriously, it's like working out. gotta keep doing it, especially when thinking starts to hurt.

Again, meditation or lack there of is not my issue, i appreciate the advice. However at this junction im not particularly in the mood for essentially hearing a modified version of "its really just your own fault, try harder next time."

would positive rep this a thousand times if i could

i see you added more to your post after the part i quoted, so i didn't take that into account when i wrote my reply. so now it reads like im overpushing it when i was just dealing with a different original text.

but anyway, so as not to overpush it, i'll stop from arguing "i wasn't saying it's your fault," etc. and just let you be.

im getting to the point in my own life where the incessant and quasi fascist drive to positive thinking and the religion of working on yourself is testing my patience.

i feel like telling people to fuck off and increasingly im looking for ways to firmly shut down the conversation when it comes to this

its the most condescending non advice you can get. it basically boils down to "but you just have to do it!" over and over again. for someone to say this to you implies a level of disrespect, condescension and stupidity that is extremely irritating.

i do not give a fuck if these attitudes are socially mandatory and aggressively promoted by the majority of people at all times. they are wrong. the denial of the negativity of our situation is imo highly linked to how much we actually suffer it. it is a form of abuse to demand this positivity and supernatural inexhaustible will power from people, to force them to personalize EVERYTHING so that collective and social experiences cannot form and only individualized misery and suffering and self blaming can propagate and our slavish devotion to exploitative reality paradigms can continue unquestioned and further punish and hurt us.

if it handicaps me in life to reject this attitude then so be it. i will tell anyone who tries to reply to this by saying one thing about ME and not my actual argument with the phrase "fuck off" and nothing else. if i get one single response about ME to this then that's what i'll say if i even reply at all. and in real life i will at least feel like doing that.

as far as im concerned anyone that feels like they have a right to sadistically try and reformat my brain into positivity and self blame is someone not worth respecting or listening to.

and someone IRL is doing this EVERYDAY and shits gonna hit the fan soon

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to !@#$%! again

Yes. There is enormous value in meditation. I don't sit much anymore but I should. When I received my Zen lay ordination in the '90s, I was really into it, and it made me feel better about myself, and that made me a better human being, somebody who was kinder and more patient. I was still human, I still did dumb things, I still made a lot of mistakes, and I still got angry and sometimes mean and impatient. But I was a lot better off than I would have been without it. What I find with meditation is that it gives you some space, in your daily life, to slow down, so that you are not reacting as much and instead are responding. I have a hard time seeing that there is anything at all wrong with that.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to gmku again

a sorta ex of mine called me crying because he broke up with his girlfriend and is moving back to florida and asked if maybe we can hang out whenever he's back because he'd only be an hour away or so, and i "really got him" and etc. every fucking time one of these guys ends a relationship, they call me.

FLEE

oh, i told i can't talk tonight for one... i feel bad because his brother just died, too. but we ended things on fairly awful terms but maintain a semi-friendship online, and ugh, no way am i returning to that in any semblance

i'm glad to hear that. exes are exes for a reason. you're working hard to make a new life, so-- yeah.

he essentially is a human tornado. yeah. it sucks i seem to have a tractor beam for junkies and outcasts, but whatever. trying to do better. i'm trying to plan a trip home in the next few weeks and like, regroup myself.

i tried meditating today- it was super fucking hot outside (heat index is 101 fuck that) but i sat under this nice tree on campus and chilled for a few minutes listening to some slowdive. it kinda helped, but i also had a dose of ritalin so i was just feeling okay overall.

ha ha ha-- whatever works! right?

since everyone seems in a better mood now i'll explain a supersimple technique

the easiest easiest most basic form of "meditation" i can think of, one that is simple enough for everyone and requires no sore legs or mystical beliefs or anything, is to lie down flat and comfortable with the pams facing up, you know what they call the "corpse" pose in yoga-- do an image search

then you simply breathe and scan your body-- become aware of it-- starting from, say, the feet, and moving upward. some people teach this with just the skeleton/muscles, consciously relaxing them as one progresses, all the way up to the face, but i like to become aware of my insides as well, because of some chinese stuff i learned once-- just feel around the organs, lungs, liver, stomach, etc. and regardles of the circuit path i like to finish in the navel area as a collect point.

anyway, that stuff, that simple stuff, the act that putting your mind back in your body gets one back from mental overdrive and into the world with peace again. it's superrelaxing before sleeping, for example, and i have empirical evidence that it helps prevent nightmares. the why and how is a long hard-to-believe explanation, but basically i've seen it work and i swear by it.