Post your best insults.
 

I was watching some stand up & I heard this one & it had me rolling "Go suck a bag of dicks" totally wrong but too fucking funny. To bad the rest of the stand up sucked.

Amateur comedian at an open mic night vs Heckler

Heckler: "Youre shit"
Comedian: "Im shit... well... its a good job this isnt my day-job then innit? This is just a hobby of mine, and youre heckling me...
You know how i dont come onto child porn messageboards and give you a hard time?"
It was good in the sense that i didnt expect it.

another comedian talking about road rage.

Comedian: So I'm driving and cut this guy off then he gets all pissed. He pulls up next to me in the next and shouts "Yo, Man, I'm gonna rape you!" So then I say "Yeah, well try it!"

adding "AND yo momma" into any insult is a sure bet.


ie:
"fuck you AND yo momma!"
"you AND yo momma are bitches."


etc

I personally like fuck you & the horse you came in on!!!

fuck face is always nice.
Also.
Nice _______, do they make it for guys?

Telling a person to suck it easy!!! is also fun.

I think "Eat a bag of dicks" is much better. it forgoes the somewhat veiled homosexual slur in place of one suggesting cannibalism.

!@#$%! wins the internet.

That's really funny, because I saw the title of this thread and immediately thought of "eat a bag of dicks". I always use that one. Works every time, I tell ya.

Also if someone gives me a dirty look, I'll tell them they've got some serious 'tude on there face.
Their expression will then change to a confused, somewhat defeated, but insulted look. Sometimes they just wipe their face with a shirt sleeve.

I have to say none of the insults on this page seem particularly cutting to me

Some kid in my high school was especially hard for no apparent reason. Like, somebody would offend him and he'd just say "yeah, but you are fucking ugly, you look hideous. you're never going to have children. i hope you die.".

I don't think mother insults are very offensive. They're so impersonal. Especially if the insulter is not familiar with the insultee's own mother.

A few of my personal favorite's and who spoke them:
"I hope your children wear diapers into adulthood"-some girl I know
"scum-cunted mouth-breather"-me
"(she's)so ugly I wouldn't fuck her with your dick"-me
"You should be sterilized" - me (I consider this an insult)

"Go run backwards naked through a cornfield, jerk."

Jerk is optional.

Ya bunch of broomheads.

i always just tell people to go fuck themselves.

That always works too.

"Your pubes are white."

I like just calling people really atrocious things, like "filthy, rotting scum scraped off the inside of a festering, moldy cunt."