Ultimate sexual fantasies...
 

Do you have one? Two? Three...

what does sexual mean?

fantasies are for lunatics?

and people in prison.

i've heard that people in prison sit on their hands before having a wank. By sitting on them for a period they lose any feeling in their hand so the wank feels like it's coming from someone else. Why they can't just get Big Steve in the top bunk to oblige them, I don't know.

Did you never do this as a teenager? I thought everyone did this.

My ultimate sexual fantasy would probably be a good book and a nice curry. Although I can't see any way to wedge sex into that, not without ruining both. So maybe it's just a fantasy. Actually, I think I'm going to do that tonight. And how many of you can say you lived out your ultimate [non-] sexual fantasy? Eh?

No, I never went to borstal.

that is so fucking disturbing, sitting on your hand.

there is more dignity in fucking dogs.

Too busy doing the old gaw blimey up them apples and pairs, strike a light guvna, was it? [to herr Rail]

I like your logic - sitting on your hand is worse than fucking dogs. You're not, by any chance, foreign?

no, you are.

Sometimes ppl having sex maybe pretend they are having sex with someone else? or wanna have a 3-way or a 5-way or whatever.
I don't think sex fantasies are just for lunatics or people in prision at all. I think alot of ppl have them. Sexual curiosity and all. or whatever.
I know I'm pretty damn naive but I have 'em.

yes, naive.

do you have sex with someone and pretend that its someone else?

...is chocolate really better than sex? or cucumbers?
I have heard women say this, and they're not old fat hags.
And one or two of my guy friends have said they wouldn't turn down an offer of having a 3-way with their gf and her bff.

I pretend it's you.

certainly not cucumbers.

I have zero imagination with sex nowadays. I used to when I was a sex-crazed teenager but, today, nothing. Perhaps it's because I'm in such a spell that any good sex would be fantastic. I can always just gesture to the common fantasies: the librarian, the business woman, the dilettante... perhaps anything where the woman's clothing aren't shit.

for some reason, all of my sexual fantasies seem to revolve around a pearly queen, a bowl of jellied eels, and the queen mum.

books. parks.

I believe a lot of guys think of knox when having a wank.

I was joking, knox.

My fantasy has been and always will be female twins in a hotel room with a hot tub a message table and a dumbwaiter. If they were as attractive as Knox that would be a BONUS.

doesn't that bother you. that they would be twins?
isn't that very close to incest or something.

Fantasy? I'll settle for having sex!

I've already had all of mine fulfilled.

Hello Kitty panties and lots of eyeliner and a finger in my ass is enough for me.

humble man.

How does one have sex with an under 40 21st Century female and not have that scenario?? I thought it was a NW thing, but you live in the midwest.

Haha, right on.

My old lady has 7 pairs of Hello Kitty panties. One for every day of the week!

humour has long since left.

shut up

"I should like one day to spy some female (attractive preferred) licentiously lifting her dress and exposing her shapely nude ankles. Though I know it veers dangerously close to self-pollution, the very thought (which I only permit myself to ponder for no more than ten seconds, after which I put on a hair shirt and jump into a tub of iced water, where I then have Hooboo, my Negress housekeeper, thrash me with a length of braided cord whilst I recite the rosary) causes blood to route to my unspeakables. I am glad this "messaging-board" is anonymous, as such knowledge would surely be the end of my wife, whom I believe is named Eliza. I love her dearly, but our relationship has not been the same since my beating-cane broke and I had to resort to more creative methods of reprimand, such as sticking pins in her feet the time she dared to address me by my first name in front of mixed company. Advice welcome."



I'm looking for a blind, Amish guy to ravage me sexually. He must be squattish, warty and have no leg hair. He must prove his Amishness either through a certificate of authenticity or by bringing a newly made piece of Amish furniture. Preferably oak.

Me: Blond, 5'4", 110 lbs. Tattoo of Ed McMahon on my right cheek and Olivia Newton John on the other.

pretty much, same :(

fantasies are for people who dont ge laid.

Thats right I said it

am I drunk? maybe
but
pheonix
meow
thats a sexula fantasie

i don't have zero imagination now, but i don't cook up intricate & bizarre ongoing fantasies with convoluted plotlines about lesbian dominatrix teachers and their drug fuelled satanic sex rituals with my female classmates the way i did when i was 15 or 16 either, i'm not sure whether this is because i'm older and can't be bothered or if it's because internet porn negates the need for creative thought

yeah i think internet porn will eventually lower your sexual IQ.

the whole amish talk was hot tho.

and ankles, must have been nice back then.
so dirty.

:rolleyes:

are you easy when yr drunk?



actually I take it back, I haven't done all of them, but definately most.

I'd quite like a japanese girlfriend. Not just any, I'd like an attractive one. But yeh.

you know I'm posting on SYG, in a t shirt and mah panties. :eek: actually I've been this way the whole day. 30 celcius in the house completely sucks.

Sexual fantasies are tacky and a let down when you put them into practice with the wrong person, anyway. Improvisation I find is more cathartic.

I've always wanted to be tied up and blindfolded etc.

And then there's the whole massage therapist thing..

Want to arrange a time and place? :D