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'How I lost my virginity' horror/semi-horror stories
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I still haven't got past third. I'm horrible with women. Well I've had a few girls that I could have been with, but luckily didn't get with.
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This is the best story I have read on here in a long time... The last pp is fucking excellent, no pun intended. Your flaccid penis may have made her sad, but it made me smile. Thank you.
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That's really, really awful. I'm pretty glad I don't have a story like that. On the bright side, you had nowhere to go but up.
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Oh man, sorry my first time was nothing like this. But then again I don't remember my first time.
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I lost my virginity when I was 15 to Kegpapa. We had only been together like 3 months. I thought I was going to wait until I was married for some horrific reason but then thought 'hes my thing, hes the one'. I ended up marrying him 6 years later anyway. F-ing insane.
My mom had the keys for some old ladies house that had recently died and I stole them so we could party there one night. We ended up drinking a bit. Some friends passed out in various rooms listening to her old records and being creeped out by the fact that we were in a dead house. Kegpapa and I ended up going into the guest room and did the deed. It was pretty good considering we were both virgins. Hurt like hell at first though, but we even managed two positions the first time. And we had to steal a sheet from the dead lady since we weren't thinking about all the fluids associated with sex. Gross. |
This would be perfect for an Japanese movie.
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I was arrested for shooting a mother fucker in the eye with a wrist rocket. I was still a virgin when it happened. So over the next several months I lost my virginity by drilling a whole through cement blocks with my friend Last Anasazi.
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who the fuck makes a thread like this. what the fuck
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A drunk person. Quote:
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then how do you know it wasn't worse? |
This thread should just be renamed "Sonic Frustration: Post Your Embarassing and Unnecessary Porking Stories Here"
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this thread should be renamed why do i want to know this tell me god why?
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its not a secret anymore. |
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sure you did;) |
Did this thread turn bad fast.
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It's cool man. It doesn't frustrate me like it used to. I'm more interested in intimacy, something that my last girlfriend and I didn't have, and something that felt fake and forced about my girlfriend before that. So I'm glad that I didn't do either of them, or take advantage of the other girls who would have fucked me in the past (I'm excellent at playing dumb!) I'm sure if I wanted to I could get laid quickly. |
We went to her place during lunch in grade 9. When she got back, apparently she ended up being so aroused that she came in class. Her chair/ass were soaked. I was getting high fives from my buddies while she was being horribly embarassed.
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the first post is a pretty good story. speaking of crying and sex, when i broke up with my last girlfriend we had break-up sex where we were both in floods of tears for the whole thing, it was really weird, but also pretty amazing to experience grief and arousal at the same time.
the time i lost my virginity was very unremarkable although the girl i did it with was considerably more experienced and i didn't want her to know it was my first time so when i came after a few minutes i was a bit embarrased acted as if normally i last much longer than that. the times after that i lasted much longer and after a little while i told her the truth about being a virgin and she didn't believe me, so i was kind of chuffed about that. the cool thing about the whole event was that it took place in paris, which is a good place to lose your virginity. |
I started to have sex with a girl but she was so tight and I'd never done it before that I couldn't get it in. She also started crying. She screamed at me, "THE ONLY BOY I EVER LOVED CAN'T EVEN FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!" I was like, "Huh?!" and she cheated on me 2 weeks later.
...But when me and my actual girlfriend had actual sex the first time, it was beautiful. I've been with her for 6 years tomorrow. |
When the eggs in the egg tube are ready, the worm slips backwards out of the saddle. As the saddle passes the egg tube, six eggs are dropped in.
As the saddle passes over the worm's head, the ends close up and make a tiny lemon-shaped cocoon with the eggs inside. This cocoon protects them until they hatch out as very small but fully developed worms. Two months later, she left me for a church-camp guy who had (somewhat rightfully) convinced her that I was the Anti-Christ. |
I was killed to feed and eaten after my first time.
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I put my penis in a vagina
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God damnit rob you fucking bastard, you win again.
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I'm not much of a one for virginity stories, so I shan't. I also shan't tell you the story of getting my brown wings, but if any of you meet me for a pint, remind me to tell you that story.
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i will
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I don't know why but this is hilarious. |
I'll let ya'll know when it happens
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Okay, okay. Alright, fine. But only because I'm bored.
I was 15 and it lasted for like 30 seconds. It hurt a bunch and it sucked. The end. |
I was more a bystander to my own second christening. Borderline rape, really.
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No popped collar, but I wish he would've finished with something like "THUNDERCATS ARE GO" |
Or the end of the Wicker Man.
"OH GOD NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! OH GOD THEY'RE IN MY EYES. KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY." I would seriously marry anyone who said that at climax. |
ok so i was like 14 at this party and i got shitfaced drunk and started making out with this dude and i told him bluntly "i want to fuck you" so we went in some other room and i don't remember it hurting and i didn't bleed but it wasn't much of anything.
nothing special there. the end. |
I loved having sex the first time. I felt so full of life. I'd came before, of course, but intercourse was surprisingly magical and amazing. I dunno what it was.
The feeling eventually went away and never came back. |
This is the worst thread ever.
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I'm a humble guy with healthy desire.
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Wow love the Wickerman reference.
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