The dumbest thing you've done when you're drunk
 

Please do tell me. I'm going to bed now, I want some answers when I wake up!

we'll come out in the night
everybody you know
will be laughing and singing
and there won't be no fighting

I wrote out a statement on paper that I would never do more than 4 Jello Shots ever again, then signed it and gave it to my friend.
Also, I told a friend that if he would shut up about chicken nuggets that I would buy him a whole chicken farm that he could then turn into nuggets. Little did I know that he was already asleep when I said this.

jumped from a roof into a pool

Shat on my friends floor.
and stole gardening shears from a walmart (same night)

sat in the middle of a dancefloor, went barefoot on the street and had something stick in my foot, pay a cab with someone else's wallet, drop a bass amp (i'm actually glad for this), vomit on the table, argued with a cop and gotten away with it.

i'm glad it's only every ten years or so i get really drunk.

i vomited all over my bathroom rug and said i had a violent reaction to the seafood i'd eaten earlier. what's even dumber is my excuse worked.

looks like you've just proven me right. every time i get drunk i get really drunk.

i only get super drunk when i'm feeling sad before or during the drinking.

and yeah, i get blind drunk when it happens.

I think I'm giving up drinking to excess. I'm fuckin' sick of the hangovers.

i sat in someone's open truck with these subs blaring just chillin and talkin to anyone that walked by

then lost to a chinese kid in a rap battle

decided to eat half a pizza, after having half a bottle of jameson's

it all ended up in the sink, which was so dumb cause i had to scoop it out bare handed into the toilet so it wouldn't clog the drain

fucked around, in all nastiness with one of my girl friends. then threw up all over her floor and slipped in my vomit.

i'm no lesbian

Christ, I could kill pretty much everyone here w/my "being a fuckwit when drunk stories". Let's see what recent drunken idiocy I've been up to...ah yes, attempting to fall asleep in Battersea Park at 4.30am, because I couldn't be bothered to walk the rest of the way back to Melly Towers.

oh actually. the dumbest thing i've ever done while i was drunk is drive a car.

^^^Me too (after 4 pints) - never fucking again...

and it's not stupid because you put yourself at risk, there are too many people in the world anyway. it's stupid because you put other people at risk. if you want to die, go right ahead and be my guest, but don't make the decision for someone else.

Following some strange guy into the bathroom stall of the club.

^^^^Ha ha ha - isn't that your textbook move, Synth? :D ;)

Oh, here's another - walking around in Melboune on my second night there, absolutely cunted, in order to find a place to eat. How I didn't get totally lost, I've no idea to this day.

No, that was random. And I was there with another guy too. Funny.

a few months ago i was at a house party, before i left home i hada few shots of jameson. then at the party i drank, 2-3 beers, a half cup of arak, a few shots of rum and two glasses of red wine. all was fine until on my way home i decided that the thing i need most is some ice cream. lucky for me i positioned a bucket next to my floor, so i didnt make a mess as i puked all night

Tried to walk home after drinking god knows how much. Blacked out on the way back, thought someone else's home was my own, ended up in their garage, then jail.

driving.

This is the best one yet! (Sorry you had to spend a night in jail).

total 5 cars

no wait--

post on the internet

yes

Walking into a tree - bang goes the Melly nose.
Giving an ex a French kiss (for no reason), and then having a huge argument w/her about it -oops.
Attempting to start fights (when I was going through a particularly bad time).

cleaning the cat box

im about to fucking vomit

you can't even handle cleaning the litter box out? pussssyyyyyyyy.

cackbrain i mean DRUNK you cack

fuck you

00

itwas in foul shape fuck

you make no sense.

the litter box should be cleaned out daily to avoid situations like this. and even drunk it shouldn't cause a problem.

go to bed, you drunk.

and oh, by the way, fuck you too.

fucjwad mrs. usually cleans but she has been injured and so it was my chore & i am not good with that shit so it hit critical mass

now the shit smell is stuck in my nose and im fucking oozing snot

the vomit is kinda deciding what to do

go throw up and then go to bed. you'll feel better.
cleaning the catbox isn't such a big deal, here's what you do:

take the little shovel and sift through the litter, like using a sieve
whatever little chunks of cat piss/feces end up in the little shovel, put them into a plastic grocery bag and then dispose of it and WASH YOUR HANDS

it shouldn't smell either... if the cat is covering it up properly.

Falling face first into concrete steps.

i know how to clean the shit but it was out of hand cuz i neglected extra while mrs. was doped up on painkillers

the price of hard fucking

fuck i am buyinga selfclean tomorrow, this shit is foul, the obx old too, is fucked

the self cleaning ones work none too well

don't neglect your duties! i'm not your mommy, i shouldn't have to tell you that!

fuck you bitch, being a single parent is a tough business

work clean cook shop tend to the ill wif no help

getsoyt of hand

i'm sick and i have FOUR ANIMALS (ie children) and i can still perform my duties. with one hand tied behind my back. men are just stupid.

!@#$%! - GO TO BED, NOW! Don't make me come upstairs and take your modem away!
*goes to the loo*
Oh God, the mess, the *gags*...right, that's it mister, you are GROUNDED for a month!

once again.


men are stupid, filthy pigs.

\\get a job and well see you do all pschhhhhhhh
ok yes i hate cleaning fuck i ned a maid