Worship at every meal with the JesusPan®
 

http://jesuspan.com/




no doubt inspired by jesus in spaghetti & countless other frauds,
the virgin mary grilled cheese ebay sale
& maybe, this recent story
click for video: http://www.atheisteye.com/JesusPan.html

Wasn't there something in Exodus about graven images...

How very tacky. I have a feeling they'll make a killing on those in Shoreditch.

They already have probably.Every household in Shoreditch has a Jesus ashtray on the table.

Shit, that's not even funny anymore. Do they realise they've sold Christianity to the devil?

Yeah, there is something in Exodus about graven images, but the majority of so called christians don't even bother to read their bible, they let their priests do it for them and that really works. Whatever happened to having an ACCURATE knowledge of the scriptures, isn't that what the apostle Paul wrote to Timothy concerning God's will.

Twenty years ago, contemporary Christian music was a cottage industry with annual sales of $85 million, today, sales are up to 4 billion a year.

& that's just the music. Book & merchandising sales assume most of the other 26 billion in revenue reported annually through the marketing of Jesus.

The recording industry globally I think only makes between 35-40 billion. The pornography business, in comparison, hauls in thirteen billion annually.

http://72.14.209.104/search?q=cache:7_9XWIIH450J:www.strang.com/cr/a.php%3FArticleID%3D13131+christianity+book++indus try+growth&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=2
While most categories showed stable growth, the Religious category was charted as up 8.1% in 2005 year-to-date, with growth for this year projected at 6.5%. The market is “the (major) growth area in the business,” said senior researcher Albert Greco of The Institute for Publishing Research. Market growth shows “an unbelievable number of books” being produced.

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articl...44876#continue

''Atari can i lend you my copy of 'A cowboy for jesus?'''

Does anyone else just fucking LOVE porkmarras lately?

''I'm not scared of you.Back off!''

http://www.adherents.com/Religions_By_Adherents.html

Major Religions of the World
Ranked by Number of Adherents

(Sizes shown are approximate estimates, and are here mainly for the purpose of ordering the groups, not providing a definitive number. This list is sociological/statistical in perspective.)

1. Christianity: 2.1 billion
2. Islam: 1.3 billion
3. Secular/Nonreligious/Agnostic/Atheist: 1.1 billion
4. Hinduism: 900 million
5. Chinese traditional religion: 394 million
6. Buddhism: 376 million
7. primal-indigenous: 300 million
8. African Traditional & Diasporic: 100 million
9. Sikhism: 23 million
10. Juche: 19 million
11. Spiritism: 15 million
12. Judaism: 14 million
13. Baha'i: 7 million
14. Jainism: 4.2 million
15. Shinto: 4 million
16. Cao Dai: 4 million
17. Zoroastrianism: 2.6 million
18. Tenrikyo: 2 million
19. Neo-Paganism: 1 million
20. Unitarian-Universalism: 800 thousand
21. Rastafarianism: 600 thousand
22. Scientology: 500 thousand

Introduction
The adherent counts presented in the list above are current estimates of the number of people who have at least a minimal level of self-identification as adherents of the religion. Levels of participation vary within all groups. These numbers tend toward the high end of reasonable worldwide estimates. Valid arguments can be made for different figures, but if the same criteria are used for all groups, the relative order should be the same. Further details and sources are available below and in the Adherents.com main database.

there are some jesus freaks on this board i reckon. people who think they are some kind of supernatural being.

''Im not scared,i'm telling you.Back off!''

I don't get it.

---

this next copy & paste is a a tale told by an idiot full of sound & fury & signifying nothing:

priceless

http://www.ccel.org/d/dostoevsky/kar...chapter04.html

THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV

Chapter 4 - Cana of Galilee

IT was very late, according to the monastery ideas, when Alyosha returned to the hermitage; the door-keeper let him in by a special entrance. It had struck nine o'clock- the hour of rest and repose after a day of such agitation for all. Alyosha timidly opened the door and went into the elder's cell where his coffin was now standing.There was no one in the cell but Father Paissy, reading the Gospel in solitude over the coffin, and the young novice Porfiry, who, exhausted by the previous night's conversation and the disturbing incidents of the day, was sleeping the deep sound sleep of youth on the floor of the other room. Though Father Paissy heard Alyosha come in, he did not even look in his direction. Alyosha turned to the rightf rom the door to the corner, fell on his knees and began to pray. His soul was overflowing but with mingled feelings; no single sensation stood out distinctly; on the contrary, one drove out another in a slow, continual rotation. But there was a sweetness in his heart and, strange to say, Alyosha was not surprised at it. Again he saw that coffin before him, the hidden dead figure so precious to him, but the weeping and poignant grief of the morning was no longer aching in his soul. As soon as he came in, he fell down before the coffin as before a holy shrine, but joy, joy was glowing in his mind and in his heart. The one window of the cell was open, the air was fresh and cool. "So the smell must have become stronger, if they opened the window," thought Alyosha. But even this thought of the smell ofcorruption, which had seemed to him so awful and humiliating a few hours before, no longer made him feel miserable or indignant. He began quietly praying, but he soon felt that he was praying almostmechanically. Fragments of thought floated through his soul, flashedlike stars and went out again at once, to beby others.But yet there was reigning in his soul a sense of the wholeness ofthings- something steadfast and comforting- and he was aware of ithimself. Sometimes he began praying ardently, he longed to pour outhis thankfulness and love... But when he had begun to pray, he passed suddenly to somethingelse, and sank into thought, forgetting both the prayer and what hadinterrupted it. He began listening to what Father Paissy wasreading, but worn out with exhaustion he gradually began to doze. "And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee,"read Father Paissy. "And the mother of Jesus was there; And both Jesuswas there; And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to themarriage." "Marriage? What's that?... A marriage!" floated whirling throughAlyosha's mind. "There is happiness for her, too... She has gone tothe feast.... No, she has not taken the knife.... That was only a succeeded tragic phrase.... Well... tragic phrases should be forgiven, they mustbe. Tragic phrases comfort the heart... Without them, sorrow wouldbe too heavy for men to bear. Rakitin has gone off to the backalley. As long as Rakitin broods over his wrongs, he will always gooff to the back alley.... But the high road... The road is wide andstraight and bright as crystal, and the sun is at the end of it....Ah!... What's being read?"...

''Hmmmm....let me think about that one atari.''

you have gone picture crazy recently porkmarras.

THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV

Chapter 4 - Cana of Galilee

continued ...

"And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him,

They have no wine"... Alyosha heard.



"Ah, yes, I was missing that, and I didn't want to miss it, I love

that passage: it's Cana of Galilee, the first miracle.... Ah, that

miracle! Ah, that sweet miracle! It was not men's grief, but their joy

Christ visited, He worked His first miracle to help men's gladness....

'He who loves men loves their gladness, too'... He was always

repeating that, it was one of his leading ideas... 'There's no

living without joy,' Mitya says.... Yes, Mitya.... 'Everything that is

true and good is always full of forgiveness,' he used to say that,

too"...



"Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what has it to do

with thee or me? Mine hour not yet come.

"His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever

he saith unto you, do it". . .



"Do it.... Gladness, the gladness of some poor, very poor,

people.... Of course they were poor, since they hadn't wine enough

even at a wedding.... The historians write that, in those days, the

people living about the Lake of Gennesaret were the poorest that can

possibly be imagined... and another great heart, that other great

being, His Mother, knew that He had come not only to make His great

terrible sacrifice. She knew that His heart was open even to the

simple, artless merrymaking of some obscure and unlearned people,

who had warmly bidden Him to their poor wedding. 'Mine hour is not yet

come,' He said, with a soft smile (He must have smiled gently to her).

And, indeed, was it to make wine abundant at poor weddings He had come

down to earth? And yet He went and did as she asked Him.... Ah, he

is reading again"...



"Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water.

And they filled them up to the brim.

"And he saith unto them, Draw out now and bear unto

the governor of the feast. And they bear it.

"When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water

that was made wine, and knew not whence it was

(but the servants which drew the water knew);

the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,

"And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth

set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk,

that which is worse; but thou hast kept

the good wine until now."



"But what's this, what's this? Why is the room growing wider?...

Ah, yes... It's the marriage, the wedding... yes, of course. Here

are the guests, here are the young couple sitting, and the merry crowd

and... Where is the wise governor of the feast? But who is this?

Who? Again the walls are receding.... Who is getting up there from the

great table? What!... He here, too? But he's in the coffin... but he's

here, too. He has stood up, he sees me, he is coming here.... God!"...

Yes, he came up to him, to him, he, the little, thin old man, with

tiny wrinkles on his face, joyful and laughing softly. There was no

coffin now, and he was in the same dress as he had worn yesterday

sitting with them, when the visitors had gathered about him. His

face was uncovered, his eyes were shining. How was this, then? He,

too, had been called to the feast. He, too, at the marriage of Cana in

Galilee....

"Yes, my dear, I am called, too, called and bidden," he heard a

soft voice saying over him. "Why have you hidden yourself here, out of

sight? You come and join us too."

It was his voice, the voice of Father Zossima. And it must be

he, since he called him!

The elder raised Alyosha by the hand and he rose from his knees.

"We are rejoicing," the little, thin old man went on. "We are

drinking the new wine, the wine of new, great gladness; do you see how

many guests? Here are the bride and bridegroom, here is the wise

governor of the feast, he is tasting the new wine. Why do you wonder

at me? I gave an onion to a beggar, so I, too, am here. And many

here have given only an onion each- only one little onion.... What are

all our deeds? And you, my gentle one, you, my kind boy, you too

have known how to give a famished woman an onion to-day. Begin your

work, dear one, begin it, gentle one! Do you see our Sun, do you see

Him?"

"I am afraid... I dare not look," whispered Alyosha.

"Do not fear Him. He is terrible in His greatness, awful in His

sublimity, but infinitely merciful. He has made Himself like unto us

from love and rejoices with us. He is changing the water into wine

that the gladness of the guests may not be cut short. He is

expecting new guests, He is calling new ones unceasingly for ever

and ever.... There they are bringing new wine. Do you see they are

bringing the vessels..."

Something glowed in Alyosha's heart, something filled it till it

ached, tears of rapture rose from his soul.... He stretched out his

hands, uttered a cry and waked up.

Again the coffin, the open window, and the soft, solemn,

distinct reading of the Gospel. But Alyosha did not listen to the

reading. It was strange, he had fallen asleep on his knees, but now he

was on his feet, and suddenly, as though thrown forward, with three

firm rapid steps he went right up to the coffin. His shoulder

brushed against Father Paissy without his noticing it. Father Paissy

raised his eyes for an instant from his book, but looked away again at

once, seeing that something strange was happening to the boy.

Alyosha gazed for half a minute at the coffin, at the covered,

motionless dead man that lay in the coffin, with the ikon on his

breast and the peaked cap with the octangular cross on his head. He

had only just been hearing his voice, and that voice was still ringing

in his ears. He was listening, still expecting other words, but

suddenly he turned sharply and went out of the cell.

He did not stop on the steps either, but went quickly down; his

soul, overflowing with rapture, yearned for freedom, space,

openness. The vault of heaven, full of soft, shining stars,

stretched vast and fathomless above him. The Milky Way ran in two pale

streams from the zenith to the horizon. The fresh, motionless, still

night enfolded the earth. The white towers and golden domes of the

cathedral gleamed out against the sapphire sky. The gorgeous autumn

flowers, in the beds round the house, were slumbering till morning.

The silence of earth seemed to melt into the silence of the heavens.

The mystery of earth was one with the mystery of the stars....

Alyosha stood, gazed, and suddenly threw himself down on the

earth. He did not know why he embraced it. He could not have told

why he longed so irresistibly to kiss it, to kiss it all. But he

kissed it weeping, sobbing, and watering it with his tears, and

vowed passionately to love it, to love it for ever and ever. "Water

the earth with the tears of your joy and love those tears," echoed

in his soul.

What was he weeping over?

Oh! in his rapture he was weeping even over those stars, which

were shining to him from the abyss of space, and "he was not ashamed

of that ecstasy." There seemed to be threads from all those

innumerable worlds of God, linking his soul to them, and it was

trembling all over "in contact with other worlds." He longed to

forgive everyone and for everything, and to beg forgiveness. Oh, not

for himself, but for all men, for all and for everything. "And

others are praying for me too," echoed again in his soul. But with

every instant he felt clearly and, as it were, tangibly, that

something firm and unshakable as that vault of heaven had entered into

his soul. It was as though some idea had seized the sovereignty of his

mind- and it was for all his life and for ever and ever. He had fallen

on the earth a weak boy, but he rose up a resolute champion, and he

knew and felt it suddenly at the very moment of his ecstasy. And

never, never, his life long, could Alyosha forget that minute.

"Someone visited my soul in that hour," he used to say afterwards,

with implicit faith in his words.

Within three days he left the monastery in accordance with the

words of his elder, who had bidden him "sojourn in the world."

there's a shop in belfast that sells all that junk





http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/eb...g?maxWidth=500

http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/eb...g?maxWidth=500

FUCK! why won't the [ img ] thing work?!

nor the links do...

i do, i do, and i think he's found his style & is ready to take over the world.

somehow i think of him as our board's pedro almodovar.

--

now on the subject of jesus pans it would be great to have a jesus BEDPAN-- i'd donate a few hundred to every nursing home around.