one time...
 

One time I took some rohypnol and drank a bunch of rum. I then fell down a flight of old rickety stairs and didn't get hurt!

One time I was sucking some dick (pre-floatingslowly) and hurt my jaw. I actually had to go to the doctor for a blowjob injury!

Please tell me your anecdotal "one times"...

why? you're entertainment enough. please continue.

one time I was tagging aklong with this girl who I was deeply infatuated by and she took me to her coke dealer friend's apartment and they were partying and one of them gav e me a rehypnol and told me to take it and I did and she got so PISSEd that they did so and then we went to the club and I drank one drink and sat in the patio for a full 4 hours, listenintg to a fat ass goth guy squaling how his name was Bela and that his mom had actually really truly named him that at birth.

Someone else!

But heres another one..

One time I got caught on top of an abandoned power plant with 2 guys, 2 shotguns and a switchblade by a police helicopter. When we got to the bottom there were 20 cop cars waiting for us. We didn't get taken in! Haha!

haha that's fucking funny!

were there blowjobs involved in the release?

ps-- sorry if im being more of an asshole than usual. i didn't meant to cramp your style. please, on with the story.

One time I thought my stomach I could handle a bottle of champagne along with a half a bag of twiggy and a glass of red wine and four cigs one after the other. It couldn't. :(

One time I changed my tampon in a park in the middle of the day because I was so drunk. :rolleyes: This one is still the worst and always will be, I hope.

I've had my jaw start clicking but there was no way I was going to the doctor. I just was making out too much all day.

One time, I was almost caught giving a bj in my apartment complex.

one time me and some friends snuck into an old abandoned rice silo and climbed to the top and proceeded to throw old electronics down into the 20 story tall silo. scary shit when it takes forever to hit bottom and you are drunka nd trespassing.


one time my friends and I were driving around high as hell and doing donuts on an elemntary school parking lot when we crashed my frind's mom's car into a concrete embankment and then we drove back to my mom's and proceeded to manufcature a "car crash" scene by beating the shit out of a fire hydrant with tools from the back of the aforementioned car. we told his mom that soem drunk was aiming for us and we swerved and hit the fire hydrant. it worked too. (3 in the AM!)

This is just making me realise how well behaved I've been lately. I've impressed myself.

one time I jumped some train tracks in a fiat I used to have and smashed my oil pan and threw a rod. Sucked, it did.

One Time I was a member of the student program board at U of H and I helped set up a concert where Gibby "butthole surfers" Haynes was going to be the MC. I idolized him so much that when he was on stage smoking a cigarrette, and then proceeded to toss the cig down, I picked it up, took a drag, put it out, and saved it. I still have it in a zip-loc baggie. I got one fierce cold right after though. suffering for my punk rockin'

girlgun you so fine and crazy.

one time I kidnapped some guy.

please start all posts with "One time..."


;)

Since Girlgun has broke the ice I hope noone objects.

One time when I was 17ish I was sitting down in my boxers and a cat jumped on me and I had a small pierce wound on my scrotum.

One time when I was 17ish I thought I had testicular cancer. Staff infection.

One time I had my eye biopsied.

One time a few years ago a girl was giving me a bj and her grandfather came over to pick her up and take her home and he walked in the house. Close call.

one time (think ive said it before) I went to a birthday party with new shoes. Someone wanted to take my picture so I threw my legs up in my friend's lap so that my shoes would be in the pic too. Well a week later I get a bulk email cc'd to a shitton of people with the pic. You can see up my skirt and I'm not wearing panties.

eek.

Back at ya, rob.

One time I went to an abandoned insane asylum and these hicks that were also trespassing (this was a pretty popular place to trespass) kept trying to scare my group.

Another time I went into an abandoned house and there was a staircase that went nowhere. Just straight into a wall. (well to be fair, it was walled off, but still pretty weird, because it didn't seem to connnect anywhere in any other part of the house)

Hahaha :D

communist.

once upon a time i was in highschool we went camping with some teachers, at night we hit the bars in a nearby town and i ended up fucking this local chick in an empty house; while we were going at it some people found out about it & went to call her brothers; we ran in different directions (per her instructions) & i feared i was going to end up like santiago nasar in chronicle of a death foretold (i.e., stabbed to death with pig-butchering knives).

of course, nothing happened at the end except i had to take a dip in the cold sea.

You didn't finish yourself off after the coast was clear?

One time I got "recognized" by someone in a coffeeshop who had seen me play a show a few weeks earlier.


A thousand miles away from where we were both standing.

you'd like to know, wouldn't you?

I'm not giving up any sexy "one time" anecdotes here.

One Time when I was around 9 years old me and my friends saw some nudie mags in the storm sewer and we decided to send my younger bro, who was the smallest, into the sewer to get them, and he did and when he handed them to us and we pulled them out we saw they were all Playgirls! EEK! what wasted effort! we wanted to see some tit-tays!

they killed santiago nasar with pig-butchering knives if you must know

El D.F. gets all the fun.

I looked at a Playgirl once as a teen out of curiosity.
Once. I wanted to see how supposed male "sexiness" was being presented.
It was in the back room of the little store where I worked, which carried these magazines.
Naturally, my boss came in and saw me in that 90-second interval.
We laughed it off, but damn.

one time when I was about 9, my friend got hold of a 900 number. I mustve called and listened to that recording 100 times. I was intrigued and confused by it. Needless to say, my mom was less than pleased for multiple reasons when she got the phone bill.

i thought you meant the One Timez...

one time i was squirting the neighbor dogs with a water bottle and then to my left i suddenly "water makes 'em mad". i say "oh hi!" (it was the neighbor) and then i mumble a bit and ask him what kind of fabric softener his wife uses because it smells good.

?

That almost sounds like some Rose Red shit.

One time me and my friend were stealing pylons off the road and throwing them into this ravine. Some soccer mom bitch (who I have had encounters with before) drove by, and stopped and yelled at us. So for some reason we booked it through the bushes and as we were running I got one of my legs stuck in this massive pile a branches and couldn't get out. I ended up peeing my pants while stuck in my branches because I was laughing and scared that my friend would leave me there (she was still running haha) She heard me yelling and came and got me though. When we got back to her house we had to explain the cuts and peed pants so we told her mom that I saw what I thought was a cat, picked it up and it was a baby raccoon. Then we said the mom raccoon came and started doing what mom raccoons do so we ran. She still believes this story.

That's all I can think of now and it's not that interesting. I've peed my pants lots hahaha (not in the past two years though)

Oh here's one.

One time me and my friend ran my neighbors garden over on tricycles. She ended up driving to my house (it's literally a 5 second walk) and bitched at my dad. Then she drove to my friend's house (which is right behind mine, and I'm on a corner so it's probably like a 10 second walk from her house) and bitched at her dad. It was totally worth the trouble we got in though haha. That woman is a bitch.

those stories are bizarre... and funny, emmah!

One time me and my 2 best friends took an abandoned bath tub from a school and drilled skateboard trucks on it and used monster wheels, and then we took it down hills. A bunch of kids then seen us and wanted to join in so we put them in at the highest hill and threw them down. There was no steering or breaks.

One time my friend Danny Brown and I in sixth grade bought a bunch of furniture leg studs at the hardware store over lunch hour and stuck them to the bottom our shoe heels so our shoes made loud click-clack noises when we walked and our teacher got mad and said only "hoods" did this sort of thing and made us take them off and then told our parents.

one time when i was about 8 i was at the airport watching my dad fly in a helicopter and i had a stomach ache so i ran to the toilet and as i was pulling my pants down i started to wee and pissed all over my pants.

One time in the parking lot of my old apartment complex I had a threesome in broad daylight with two of my ex-best friends.

One time when I was 3 or 4 I stole a duplo man from my playschool. Not so I could keep it at home, but so I could take it back into playschool and be the first kid to get to play with it. It was a popular toy.



Duplo was like Lego only bigger. Yeah. I'm wiiiild.