I'm donating my ovaries.
 

Because all they do is bring me pain. Sure, I'll look manly and never have a sex drive again, but my tummy will feel better and the person who gets them can pretend they're antlers or something.

Are you serious ?

Why don't you just donate some eggs and then get your tubes tied? That way you get to keep your estrogen.

ALTERNATE REPLY

But what about the baby you said we could have together?

Nah, just a bitchy female.

We can get a cat instead.

^Lovely^

if you're having cramps, a hysterectomy will take care of that. it will still fuck you up, but not as much as losing your ovaries. basically it will fuck up your hormones royally :/

you ever tried reflexology? that shit actually works. there's a spot right above the heel, on the tendon, that will hurt like fuck if you massage it, but if you continue, it will melt away the pain.

every girlfriend i've ever had swears by that spot.

by the way, you'll feel it in one leg more than the other. try it now.

---

if you prefer herbs-- black cohosh & cramp bark do a good job. there will be some compound preparations at your local hippie store.


--

ps- i thought you said you were a tranny? liar! :D

Is there a certain position or something to be in whilst massaging? And how should I massage? I'm sort of pinching my tendon and it sort of hurts, not like hell though. And there isn't any difference in my ovarian pain. I'm probably not even doing it in the right spot.

There's this one store at the mall or something that has a lot of natural stuff, but it's not like a hippie store or anything. I've never been in there, but I'll check it out one of these days.



When I say tranny, I mean that I have a 6 inch long clit.
PS: I'm a compulsive sarcasmer. That's different than lying. If it's even anything.

damn! 6 inches long! you belong in a novel by the marquis de sade.

but anyway, you can cross one foot over your knee, or have someone do it. yeah pinch on the tendon, search for the tenderest spot, and work on it. you may have to travel upwards a little towards the calf to find it, and try the other leg to measure you're touching the really painful spot.

yo, the ovaries dont hurt, unless you have cysts or something. it's that twitchy uterus doing its work that hurts.

lemme find you a chart...

there:



there. you may think this is a bunch of bollocks but no. it works. try the various numbers.

I'll just keep working on it then.

Ovaries, uterus, balls ...my reproductive system hurts.

you can apply fairly good pressure, you know, without hurting your tissues. it won't work like forever but it can help you weather the worst storms of pain.

one leg-- i *think* it's the opposite of the side that hurts, but im not sure. i usually try & find that by hand. when she lets out a scream, i know i've found it.

Womens is so complicated.

therefore fun to explore. :D

Well, I'm not in as much pain as before. I can't really tell for sure if it's because of what I've been doing or not. I found a spot that really hurt and massaged is with great pressure for a minute or two.

It seems to be helping more now. You're a god.

I think it is a great idea. I want to adopt whenever i find somebody I will spend the rest of my life with.

^Definitely. I'd be afraid a child would inherit my bad traits, and that my vagina will hurt when it comes out (I know there's drugs and blah blah, but the whole process grosses me out really bad. And I don't get grossed out easily). And not some child from Africa, we have enough homeless kids here. I should also probably start to learn to actually like kids, because right now I hate them a lot and dream of living in a small loft with art and music everywhere, just with one other person.

Me too, I think we have enough kids here to adopt. I hate it when these so-called adopters go elsewhere because they want to help out someone in need. When we have so many in here that need it as well.

We have more than enough. America has one of the highest poverty rates in the world. I forgot the statistics/where I got them from, but there was a list of a lot of things that were pretty shocking.

Ahhh I just looked at my bookmarks and found it. I don't know how credible it is exactly, but it doesn't really seem to be too faulty.
http://www.huppi.com/kangaroo/8Comparison.htm

Yeah that is scary. Especially when you see the ramnifications of not educating children with sex ed.

In Virginia (or Maine? I don't remember) they are handing out condoms in middle school and there's a controversy surrounding it and shit.

I think I heard about it. But it is ridicilous that we think it is wrong to educate our kids about std's and how to protect themselves.

I'm lucky that my school does a pretty good job with that stuff. Though I did learn most about sex from porn..
I saw a video of these teenagers who pledge to be virgins and it said how about 80% of them quit the pledge after a year or something. And these two people said that when they had sex they wouldn't use a condom. It was really sad.

I'd buy that for a dollar.

hell, I'd even rep you for that if this craptastic rep-system would let me.

please consider this post faux-rep.

floatingglowly is my hero. He taught me all I know about anal sex.

anal math for beginners:

8===> (*)

8=(

8(

8=(

8(

8==> (*)

rinse and repeat.

there now, that wasn't too inappropriate, was it?

It's the thought that counts, deary.
I almost forgot the O.



Mmmm I have a baggie filled with hot water on my abdomen. Amazing.

certain toltec philosophies say that menstruation is a metaphysical process of opening up the crack into between the worlds, an act of sorcery that takes men decades to achieve, but which every woman does every month for a good portion of her life...

why waste years studying sorcery when you can accomplish the same thing with a knife?

and if you are into majick, why waste it on a period when you can just use yr powers to make zombies and shit?

zombies > periods.

trust me on that.

What about zombies with periods?

just sayin'.

if you are going to use sorcery, make zombies, not periods.

although making others have periods is perfectly acceptable (and surely fun).

in fact, fuck it. I'm going to begin chanting right now.

one of y'all is about to have the period of a lifetime.

enjoy!

Well I am a level infinity+ infinity sorcerer so you can't you use it on me.

If I'm hurting worse tomorrow I will sit on your face with my bloody vagina.

You must smear the pms blood before giving it to angella again.

why would I give you a period?

that would be no fun at all.

I'm using my dark majick on someone that wouldn't actually WANT IT.

Awesome.


Yet I wonder why I'm still single.

gotta say, that's pretty gnarly.

again, can't rep.

don't blame me, blame sonic youth.

Well reverse psychology is not going to work on you is it?

alright. alright.

although I won't create yr own personal period, I'll attempt to transmute anngella's over to you.

get a tissue.

I no need issues.

Wouldn't a NAPKIN be more helpful?