i love my cats but theyre fucking assholes
i also didn't name him that

That's the best part about cats! They're huge assholes! They simply don't give a shit, they often don't need or want your affection, and you can watch Andrew 'Dice' Clay stand-up with them on TV.

yes.

That's what everybody says about cats, and yet they always seem to want me to devote every moment of my existence to giving them affection. Women are actually easier to please, which is saying a lot.

If it's a lady cat, just put a damp Q-Tip in its vag and hold it there for a second. After that they shouldn't be needy for at least a few days. Just like a human woman.

girl cats fucking suck

i've seen so much horse cock this year... its not funny. other animals i can hardly tell the sex of... because i don't sit there looking betwixt their legs. but a horse lets you know

That's what I'd hoped, but all it got me was bite wounds on my penis.

trying to think of another sentence where i can use betwixt

amerikangod slid his cock betwixt davenotdead's luscious ass cheeks, like a plump ballpark frank on a hairy bun.

i knew that was coming

When two people are deeply in love they develop a psychic link of sorts.

once again, your emo side is showing.

Oh god, I just texted my virtual dreamgirl and wrote the exact phrase "whatcha doin" without realizing I took it from this thread until I went back here.

first i thought about being disgusted, then i thought about repping u. then i read the sentence again, and i'm just caught in between. it's not lacking in imagery, for what its worth

corrected. he gives you an opportunity, and you're not even paying attention.

Is that the side of me that is most chubby and prone to wearing a button down shirt with a skinny tie? Cuz all I wear is stained Black Flag tees.

You should rep me for putting words to your most esoteric dreams.

we are made for each other

It's not just words he's dreaming of, kind god. I think Dave wants a good round of applause happening between those butt-cheeks.