all my easter eggs melted today. Now my 2nd fridge in the garage is too full to put any beer in

Tell me about it.

I once cooked food for like 40 minutes, and when you're alone at home you always act silly so I was about to pose infront of the mirror with my plate (playing "chef of the year", haha), and yeah, during my posing I dropped the plate.
It broke and splattered food all over the fucking place.
That moment felt like it lasted forever, when I saw it slip out of my hand...aaarrrggghhh!!

Hahaha :D

I drank too much beer yesterday passed out at6:00 only tyo wake up at1am puking stomach acid up. I did not fall back asleep untill 4 and had to get back up and go to my job. I am tired and a bit hungover.

I'm pissed that I had to settle for a copy of issue #21 of Hack/Slash with a vastly inferior cover, because the copy with the fucking awesome cover had a rip in the corner. That's what that shitty comic book shop gets for not bagging their back-issues. Idiots.

Plus, they have this loyal patron club, where if you spend $25 or more a month... you get 5% off all of your purchases the month after. Wow - 5%??? How minuscule, and insulting. How about I spend $25 a month, and you guys bag your fucking comics. Idiots.

I HATE accidentally stumbling across spoilers when I browse the internet. No matter how hard I try to forget what I just read, it refuses to stop stinging the back of my mind.

God bless the *spoiler alert* and damn to hell all who refuse to use it.

I just took a bite of a Cornetto Algida e sono iperdeluso perchè è uno di quelli al cioccolato invece del classico gusto panna. Tristezza.

I wonder if people in my life are weirded out when I tell them all the Snoopy
stuff I bought. Hmm.

It's going to take me a 20 minute walk to buy a new weekly bus ticket tomorrow morning. I could have used that time to smoke one more cigarette and look outiside the window with a cup of coffee. Nevermind.

i am gonna buy today a transportation ticket; i hope i wont forget to do that.

wow i sneezed while eating chocolate and now it's all over my arm. fuck this gay earth

murderous thugs disguised as cops

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/05/0...eleased-video/

I've watched that video earlier on today after reading about that story on another forum. Terrifying.

The time saving tricks I use are: never read ANYTHING and judt mash a binch of keyx on ypur pisspoor phone keybosrd!!!

Recap: dpn't look. MAsH!

My touchscreen keyboard was designed for tiny asianfingers.
:(

While masturbating, I find it hard to choose between whisting Maneater by Hall and Oats or The Goonies.R.Good Enough by Cyndi Lauper.
:'(

the game 'words' is what inspires me to buy an i-phone.

stumbleupon is giving me too many boring sites to look at.

Can someone tell these two boring bastards to fuck off and stop posting??

Ha! LOL!! WhaTEVER!!! First world problem!!!!

Hahahaha!!"!

Is anyone else getting this thing on youtube where half the links have an advert playing really loud on a loop, that can't be switched off? It's making it pretty much impossible to use.

The 1967 Fantastic Four Animated Series Was Never Officially Released On Dvd And Torrents Of It Are Impossible To Find :(

I am on a bus stuck in traffic and I feel a massive poo coming on after eating too many mixed nuts at work.

That IS a first world problem. In less developed countries, you could just let go right on the bus. If you even had a bus at your disposal.

Well I managed to get off the packed bus and run into a pub where I unleashed a masterpiece of Expressionism in brown. The internal pain I suffered during that tortuous journey was offered the clinically hygienic canvas of an east London toilet bowl. The suffering of the first world found the perfect outlet in my abdomen contractions.

That was poignant and beautiful.

I'm in the 2nd floor of my giant house and my wifi signal is weak for my ipad2

I live in one giant concrete room and pick up stray wi-fi signals.
My first world kicks your first world's ass.
Take that, Chicago!

i live in rural minnesota there are a lot of farms it's not very first world at all

It's the heartland of Amethica

it really embraces American ideals by combining first-generation Somali refugees, Americanized Mexican immigrants, and chain food

My "smart" phone has been liking things that I like but didn't like, and like, it won't let me delete any like that's been liked.

I want to smash it, and cast this rare-earth failure into the wind.

I am not impressed by the fact that it is the 2nd day this week I can't have my favourite baguette sandwich because it run out by the time I got to the staff canteen to get one.

i am impressed and confused as to what i am doing wrong or right and i manage to get equally wasted by spending 1/3 of the money i used to.





* love how i keep failing in the thread. :)

Someone tried to break into my house today, but we had a builder doing some work and he scared them off.

cant get the taste of 3rd world blood out of my jizz

cant decide if I should have a glass of red or a beer
fuck sake.

running out of Tumblr porn blogs....

^ list pls

my plan last night was to steal a lighter from my friends.

Got an interview tomorrow but I really can't be bothered with it. Not sure I even want this job.