Well... I... yes. I suppose.


I'm going off for a sulk.








And a little wank.

thank the british for big soft pale asses.

thank the british for my fantasy of pissing on the queen if I ever get to meet her wrinkled prune ass.

thank the british for the beatles and the cure and the stones and the pistols and the PIL and the depeche mode and the other bullshit

thank the british for the PUB

thank the british for your sick and overgrown sense of imperialism without which the United States and specifically Texas our texas would not exist.

Thank the british for finally telling kings that they can go fuck themselves (magna carta)

thank the british for kate winslet, especially when she still had a nice soft round ass.

the white ones tend to have either no arse or big saggy fat ones that fill out their trousers like they've got a couple of half deflated balloons down there. not like black or south american/latina chicks who generally seem to have full pert arses that are a wonder to behold.

why are you trying to hurt rob?

I thought those were givens, but in the grand tradition of the 200+ years-late sweeping apology, I say thank you. And I apologize for the omission.

i'm sure he'll get over it, living in texas he's in hog heaven as far as ladies arses go, i imagine.

Texas is the Yorkshire of the US then?

when AC-DC sang "she's knocking me out with those american thighs" they were specifically referring to Texas women.


read it in Hit Parader.

They talk funny in both places, that's for sure.

the women in yorkshire have good arses? to be fair, the only good looking people i know from yorkshire are my parents, and neither of them have arses that are particulalrly worth remarking upon.

okies are hotter than texans. You heard me, rob. Just throwin' that out there.

Depends on your taste. I have a soft spot for Yorkshire lasses. I cannot comment on your parents, unless you'd care to post pictures of your parents' arses?

sadly i don't have pictures of my parents' arses. i can describe them for you though.

Ooh, if you wouldn't mind that'd be just super.

well if you can picture my arse but a lot fatter and swathed in mousey brown hair, then you've got my dad's. and if you can picture my arse but hairless and and more female shaped and with the skin texture of a woman in her 50s who has given birth to four children then you've got my mum's

I'm thinking 'roids. Are there 'roids?

Those of us who've been on the board long enough are sadly able to to this mental exercise with ease.

i don't think so, i mean it's been a few years since i've seen either of my parents' arses, but i don't think age has been that unkind to them yet

I remember the mother of someone you've met telling me about her 'roids. She said it was a consequence of childbirth.

But, in the spirit of the evening, I think we can agree to disagree.