yeah big fan

right, cuz you're not mr. touchy himself

So wait, its only page 2 but is officially time to SYG derail this thread? I am thinking yes.

You must spread some Oscar Wilde around before giving it to Genteel Death again

good. but that underworld is coming for you whether you like it or not if you're still in the "i can just cut out x aspect of my addiction" stage. which everyone is technically until they die and end their oxygen/fuel addiction.

my permanent downer trip is its own reward, since all men are slaves to the darkness that comes before

taste the darkness it's been waiting

the sooner i die the better. my only good friend died years ago, the rest will be dead soon enough. pretty much everyone else i have nothing to say to.

cooley went at 28. haydens having his meltdown because he's getting smacked in the face by american capitalist realism. they work far longer hours than us and have no health benefits and the dole is worse. he got punched for complaining about it which is tantamount to reminding people of their own pain and allowing them the sensation of power over it they get from beating someone else down. also it seems he's the victim of in group dynamics now that his parents got their financial shit in order. we know from science that exclusion due to being the out group target of an ingroup leads to addiction and serious issues. so hayden be careful, i noticed that your mother was talking with your boyfriend. this could end up with them forming an alliance and them all moving on at your expense. you're gonna be the "bad one" that cant get his shit together and they'll single you out then you'll start getting all the flak with all these subtle mental jujitsu moves that hold out the hope they will help you but are really about punishing you and making you fail. its an attack on your sense of self and reality. at least this is how it seems from what YOU say so who knows.

the only sane response is to get your head down and get DARK. get a cash stash that only YOU know about and start being very careful. all this emotional vulnerability and pain will turn to hardened scar tissue over time. just expect more punches and prepare. understand that you are being set up to fail. your body is a rapidly obsolescing commodity and the summer of its hedonistic use value is drawing to a permanent close.

all this narcissistic diary stuff is about romanticising yourself, but noone cares. you are probably nutritionally depleted from all those drugs and need to think rationally about what you consume rather than hedonistically.

basically, all that money you have spent on drugs would be far better spent on useful things.

im stockpiling to avoid homelessness and building whatever cash sources i can.

what i really want is to go off grid but i'd have to kill myself there since coming back would be disaster.

trying to stop addiction is futile since you're just prolonging life which is suffering, addiction usually has to get so bad and scary that you prefer sobriety but if slipping into addiction offers you any brief release or drama at all you'll probably do it. really, talking is a waste of time because it will ONLY be better once we're all dead.

for some reason, i imagine getting punched in the face quite a lot now. i dont know why, i suppose its a distraction from thinking about suicide. i kind of want that pain for some reason. i guess some people have the same urge only to be the puncher which is worse

the question for humanity is how much violence/abuse/drugs/ridicule/entertainment/distraction/pathologization/shame/scapegoating/pharameceutical brain damage profiteering/denial they can pile onto people whose facade of positivity cracks under the strain, or perhaps there are in built mechanics that cause say jihadists to genocide us to reset what the permissable topics of expression are when we get too reflective? either way its extinction for the human race and nothing but pointless time wasting, pain and willed confusion for every remaining second we spend avoiding suicide (which is impossible). stay positive yall!

theres a really good suicide bridge near me but i would go insane on the way down so i dont know about that. nembutal or helium maybe

but i will probably* suicide bomb the suicide prevention charity first in revenge for the billboards they put up saying "manuary, the month when despite no money things will get better"

then i'll kill myself afterwards

*disclaimer for ghcq, i wont actually do this lol

the problem with suicide is that it doesnt stop the problem from recurring since more humans will be borne and matter will end up reconfigured into new people who will just be back at the same place killing themselves over and over again. of course when we are extinct it will be over but we cant then know that extinction will be eternal. the only solution would be to leave some machine or thing behind that could scan the universe for any sign of life and destroy it before it occurs again but who knows if this is even possible. of course we should still die as soon as possible and in the least conscious way possible but the problem just keeps starting over and over again. its a terrible situation from every perspective. i dont think the concept of individuality means anything or has any real correlate to something that actually exists and there is obviously no clear line demarcating conscious entities but thinking about that aspect of things becomes very confusing very fast. the only "good" thing is that we can at least know we're gonna die and we're always forced into it whether we like it or not eventually.

Dead battery stop boguting Hayden thread create yr own bitch and moan thread

Even if youre arreligious you should still keep the Bible around its good literature about the complexities of the human experience kind of like a tool album

And sometimes i think dead battery does serious damage to MY brain but i love that fucker anyway

Sounds like everyone needs a good bath and some soup

way to ruin an otherwise perfectly reasonable point

Yeah, it's really that good and don't fucking try it