Sonic Youth Gossip - Do You Want Kids?

Sonic Youth Gossip (http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/index.php)

- Non-Sonics (http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/forumdisplay.php?f=5)

- - Do You Want Kids? (http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/showthread.php?t=17270)

Yeah, live in that fucking rotten world is not a gift...

Yes. I want to have a kid someday because I will have my seed planted and also because I'm curious as to what attributes the child would take from me. I'm thinking of having two at the most.

I think I would if I found the right woman to make them with and had a more stable future than how it appears it will be. Keep on the family name, pass on my knowledge, etc.

But this all depends on a great deal of variables and I like to think that I'm too young right now to be caught up in them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by girlgun

the thing about kids: you may think you're not equipped, or you're too self absorbed, or just not stable enough to have them.... but once you do.. you cease to be all those things which ultimately makes you a better person.

Sometimes. There are also plenty of people who raise their children selfishly, in total instability, in neglect, in abuse, and worse. Some people grow up because they have kids, but it's usually a much better plan to grow up first.

I have a son due in March actually. I'm looking forward to it, and it was planned. I wouldn't agree to it until I had a decent job and owned a home. That meant putting it off for many years, but my wife and I are ready now. I look forward to hauling the baby to the radio station every Saturday to do my show.

I'm pretty certain we're only going to have one, because I think that if every two breeders had one child rather than more the world wouldn't be so deathly over-populated. Plus, I was an only child and liked it. I used to work in a place with some blocks out for the kids to play with and the ones by themselves always created really interesting stuff, while the ones with siblings always fought over the blocks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Savage Clone

No way.
No how.
Not ever.

I got a vasectomy when I was 24 after two years of thinking about it.
I still think it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I'm sure I could have risen to the occasion in the event of an unplanned pregnancy, but that doesn't mean I want to.
My wife and myself both grew up never dreaming of the glorious time when we would one day have kids of our own, and I'm glad she is the non-family type as well, because that kind of thing is a dealbreaker. For some people (and I know a few), having kids is a lifelong dream and when one person wants them that badly and the other one doesn't, someone is going to have to live with a major lifestyle compromise while the other gets 100% of what they want, whether kids are in the picture or not at the end of the day.

I have enough responsibilities as it is, plus being someone who pretty much lives hand-to-mouth, I'm not sure I could provide the kind of security a kid would want. Not to mention, being raised by someone who is fairly pessimistic/misanthropic has to potential to create "issues" of varying types over the years.

Julian, I don't see why a woman saying she doesn't want kids should be a turnoff unless you want them really badly yourself, and with her.
Seriously, a strong woman who knows what she wants (whether that includes kids or not) and puts herself on the path to getting what she wants out of life is a huge turn-on. It shows backbone in the face of societal expectations for all women to be nurturing mommies.

I'm so glad my family never put any pressure on me to have kids; they know what's up, and they understand my position.
There are enough people on this earth. Too many.
I'm also not going to bear the strain on my conscience that being responsible for another human being having to go through childhood and adolescence would bring on.
I enjoy being around my friends' kids (the few who have them), but I also love knowing that for me, kids are not a 24 hour a day commitment.

Thank you for writing some of that (in response to Julian's remark) so that I didn't have to try to articulate a similar idea.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anngella

I hate kids and they hate me. I would consider adopting when I'm older.. but I'm a really independent person and I don't think I would be able to take care of another human.
Plus I would end up giving the poor thing a name like Wilfred or Velveeta.

When I think of the possibility of adoption, it always involves me as a single person. I never really even consider the possibility of finding a man who would also prefer to adopt, because it seems that is extremely rare. I don't know why it's so rare, but mostly I don't think they understand why a woman would want to adopt, and so they go about assuming that whatever woman they end up with will want to have children, no questions asked. But mostly it's like this: If I do someday have a long-term partner, the way I see it now is that I would not want a kid in that situation. Because I'm selfish, and I would not like compromising the life I have with my partner just to raise a child. I don't even like kids (well not being around them constantly at least), so I don't know why I'm writing this.

what the hell is with all you guys and this over-populated shite? honestly. al gore isnt right all the time. there is plenty of land in australia...i took a 13 hour bus ride, i know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by luxinterior

I think about it both ways. But I don't think I would be able to do it by myself, just for the mere fact that I know I'm not going to be super successful and financially it would be near impossible. I also agree with you that if I end up having a partner, I wouldn't want our relationship to suffer because of a kid. I've seen it happen too many times with friend's parents and my own parents, where they end up being more "married" to the children than the spouse.
Men don't think about why women would want adoption because they don't have vaginas.

i dont know what people have answered here but yes. at this point in my life finally, yes. i think i can spew forth my seed and not raise some kind of fuckups. actually it should be fun. we're currently practicing with a cat; a small ape should multiply the fun. plus i have these cool as shit nephews. oh yes, i'm spawning.

are you people talking about adopting non-caucasian unamerican non-babies? because white american babies aren't exactly easy to come by. you gotta wait a long time......and pay a lot of fucking money. if you are talking about non-caucasian unamerican non-babies... then that's really fantastic and amazing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dead-Air

unfortunately i can't argue with that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by girlgun

Anything, really. I would rather adopt from this country (not necessarily caucasian) because I think we should help ourselves before we start helping everyone else ..but with the price and whatnot I doubt I would be able to even if I wanted.

there are just so many americans who want healthy white infants... that it's not really a matter of helping in that case. now adopting a non-caucasion (for lack of a better term) 5 year old... probably a different story.

3 of my 4 siblings were adopted at birth.

Quote:

Originally Posted by girlgun

Oh yeah, I definitely don't want to adopt a baby. I'd be so afraid of dropping it or forgetting about it in the tub or something. I would want to adopt a child (anywhere from 4-11ish) from a foster home.

Not really no, I don't exactly trust myself with children. I have a short temper. Maybe someday that will change and I'll shoot out a billion of them but for the time being, I say nooo. The world is turning into a giant hell hole anyways.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anngella

that's very admirable! but probably a lot more difficult than not dropping a baby. lot of emotional issues to deal with and stuff.

I would adopt maybe a 3-5 year old, but as I stated as more days go by I don't think I want a child.

Frankly, though I love my kids, I think most young couples these days who are having babies are terribly short-sighted (I'll stop short of "selfish") and aren't thinking about long-term effects on the global environment, natural resources, and so on.

No, I do not want kids in any shape or size or to any degree. Bringing a child into this shitty world? No thanks. I don't even really like kids very much and I wouldn't be qualified enough as a father to shield them from all the bullshit that they'd inevitably be forced to deal with. After all the shit I had to go through growing up -- I mean, I had the most loving mom and grandparents in the world, but that didn't stop me from, at some point, being abused... I mean, how the fuck could I deal with my child being put through hell? I couldn't. I can't fight all their battles, I can't hide them from the injustices of the world -- as much as I'd love to, it'd be impossible. So, fuck it. I'm not going to create something beautiful that will be corrupted by this wasteland. And I also wish I hadn't been born either.