while taking a shit today I saw a roach up right up side down near the toilet I was so gracefully taking a shit on. padded seat and all. after I wiped my greasy shitting asshole I lightly brushed the tainted paper over his up right end. pubic hairs and all to give him a little needed taste of my shit he needed cause everytime I farted he got excited and giggled his legs.

when I was done I sprayed country apple fragrance on him while he wiggled his little roach legs trying to flip over disgusted and possibly poisoned.

well, I didn't end up killing him, just left him there smelling like my shit with pubic hairs hanging from his little legs and tasting apple country fresh straight from bath and body works.

I often think what if I was born a roach or a fly. that thought fuels me. not even a Kafka thang. I got a lot sick pleasure from that but also wonder if that could've been me. I could have ate him but I had plenty of boogers up my nose for that.

I wish really white people with pale skin and frumpy bodies with conservative lives would stop getting tattoos? you look like a jackass and the tattoos just accentuate yr pale whiteness. esp, when they are colored. you look like a cuckold in denial jackass. these nerd germs should be exterminated like albino roaches. how does yr wife or girlfriend put up with your frugly ass? yr gross with that farmers tan cottage cheese body.

You should join Ween Forum (Satan's Closet now). It's really vicious but your a pretty funny crazy guy. Guaranteed 10-20 laughs on an average day. I'm going to be butler there soon and am trying to renounce my crown of forum shithead

thanks man. I try to make everyone laugh here. don't think they get it. I retired my jester hat along with the family photo albums in the hallway closet with the toilet paper, napkins and Christmas decorations.

how much could I price to hire someone to stick a shotgun up my ass and pull the trigger? how much damage would that do to my dorky brain? would it rip through with steady velocity or get bogged down by my bowels deflating maximal impact? of course I would add in bonus for self suicide cover up and me bending over doggy style with ass in face too. 5 k is what im asking. is this dark web investigations or do you have a number? can you handle it yrself?

I'm going to answer that question in the Beaver Kid Trilogy Thread in a few months I need to see the movies first. Symbolically on my 30th birthday I had a apocalyptic nuclear meltdown in my asshole. No one tried to stop it.

k. listen. you just don't know how much you cheered me up with this post. fucking LOL!!!!:D I was going to go the whole shish kabob hootenanny distance with this thing but opted out. thanks man! others would say "good riddance you fucking troll", but you saved me with comedy and non-hate.

now the question is: I can hire somebody just to fart in their face doggy style?

 

 

Smithfield Market, Smithfield square, Dublin, Ireland

3d printz

awesome. I can't wait until 3D printers become more accessible. They're still pretty pricey for some shitty machines. I saw one that you can attach to your iphone and send shit to other people. Anyways....new technology is crazy. I was like 2 seconds away from purchasing a playstation VR set. But damn...that shit was wayy too much. It's like $500 WITHOUT the ps4.

I had to baby sit today. can you believe people trust me with their kids?

hey, money honey.

I voted for Trump just like I said I would. I lied while doing a parody of Sev to make you think otherwise in the spirit of everyone here. I voted for Trump and you can kiss my ass.

who could resist voting republican in 2016? me, that's who!! I did cause I hate you.

im an asshole I know. what did you expect from an asshole like me? you people pick on me and push me around and ignore me and I constantly disagree with ya'll? I had to do it at least one time. what did you expect? don't knock till you try it. go fuck yrself and go fuck your mama. all of you...:fuckyou: I know you can't stand me and I hope I make you sick.

look look! im just trying to say fuck trump. the double yellow line doesn't mean double double yellow line right? look, im just saying you can still drive when a double yellow line means a double yellow line. your mother told me not to care and foot forward with gas. she's always careless. just saying you guys. don't trust that MILF. she told me to drive and thrust onwards in that pussy. I had my doubts this time. like you guys. runaway down the road. I wish I could runaway down the road from that pussy. but I like the blowjobs and I had no gas this time.

I get no satisifaction fucking her no more. well, I kinda do. it's just I have no love anymore because I always have to drive.

Yeah Trump is president all right... President of the Hair Club for Men! Not only that, he's also a client! Remember that commercial pepper green? Millenials and Euros are just out of the loop. Imagine how great male American hair is going to be in 4 years! All the ethnic hotties are going to want to American men. Put that in your wig and comb it!

If you were given $5 million in coupons to smoke cigarettes to alleviate your stress in any situation, would you redeem them? Stress? What's stress? Oh yeah I know that! That's when you don't have a cigarette! Everything elese is buckshty!

Murder one? Rape? Genocide? Motherfucker? Child molester? No worries, i'll talk, just get me a cigarette

-Chief Jay Strongbow, straightest arrow in the West

another cop killer tragedy in my own little home town today:

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/reno...udent-44047447

thoughts go out to the cops and the families. fuck this loser country ass thug.