In my own inner world things are fine. Its just not the same though, on the outside. and I get really deflated.

italian to english always words so interestingly.

I have lots of friends, but then the saturday just gone, I found myself sitting alone at home. So no matter hoooow many friends you have, you still get lonely.

This realllly beautiful girl is into me and I'm very much enjoying her presence and company. She is incredibly beautiful and artistic.
AND, my ex and I are getting along so well as great friends, which we are both also really pleased about.
I've also met alot more new faces within the last few weeks, which is really nice.

thats great to hear, that yr feeling a lot better. :)

Let me be honest this message board held me down for a while. When I lived in Miami I went to the Library every day just to get online or read. Most of my friends down their are married & barely ever hang out..

Phoenix: Yes, I am. Thanks. :)

I'd rather chat to you lot than my friends or family. It suddenly dawned on me that you are much better than the lot of them. I've had it, so had it.

we're not better-- you just can't smell us, and you can make us go away with the click of a mouse. i guess in that sense yeah we're "better", but if we actually had to interact wi in person for long periods of time my guess is you'd end up throwing a pan full of hot oil at a great majority of we the people.

I don't understand my friends at all. I'm always there for them, I always put on a brave face on, but when shit happens to me I am the one who is always meant to be the strong one and take it. I am so sick of it, so very sick.

the true test of friendship is not expecting anything from your friends

ask not what your friends can do for you but what you can do for your friends

Oddly enough I was going to suggest this...there are lots of cool social scenes around the library. I live across the street from a library here in Englewood.

Also try meetup groups.

If you lived around here I'd suggest hanging out with one of my dorky social groups. Like all the drunken scooterists. We have a Kiwi and an Aussie round these parts too.

there are lots of aussies where I live. unfort its not that easy to find someone I mix well with.

scooters and drunken does not sound like my kind of mates tho? Im more of a drunken satirist.

Where are you?

australia

That would explain the Aussies I guess.

mostly.

Don't worry, Chief Thunder will always be your friend. He has to. He says your name every time he shoots a fireball.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4IKAPd0AGU

I'm so very jealous of his name.

My fag hag got a boyfriend, and I'm jealous.

Back of my bitch, bitch!

Yeah, I have friends like that. I recently ended a three year relationship, and I didn't hear one iota from any of my friends, yet they all knew. Although when a few of them split from their partners after only a few months, I was still there for them when they were weeping and pissing themselves.
I got more condolences etc, from people I don't know that well.
While from my friends I got phone msgs, and mysapce msgs saying "come over and get drunk". Like that was going to solve the heartache?
I'd be extreeeeemly pissed off at them and hold a grudge, if I wasn't as independantly as strong as I am and can get myself through things being alone.

A groan of tedium escapes me, startling the fearful.
Is this a test?
It has to be. otherwise I cant go on.
Draining patience. drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire acts a little old.

But Im still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and Im still right
Here.
But Im still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and Im still right
Here.

Im gonna wait it out

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path Ive chosen here,
I certainly wouldve walked away by now.

Im gonna wait it out

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path Ive chosen here,
I certainly wouldve walked away by now.

I still may. and I still may.
Be patient.

I must keep reminding myself of this...

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path Ive chosen here,
I certainly wouldve walked away by now.
And I still may. and I still may. and I still may.

Im gonna wait it out.
Im gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.

It sounds like that approach has put you in a dreary place. Have you considered a different approach?

"thats the problem sometimes isn't it?" jimi hendrix

"Friends like these, huh Gary?"

I don't know what to tell you. I am socially awkward. I never want to talk to people, they bore me. However, I am a great conversationalist. So I don't know how important friends are to you, or having friends is, but I don't really bother.

You live in Sydney? We could chill sometime.

I have hardly any friends. Because I am so untalkative and shy. It used to bother me, but now music has taken over my life, and I don't really care.

ah
you'll grow out of it

I don't know. I don't think people like that I have different interests to them and have a Beatles/Thurston haircut.

Dude, same! Another cosmic coincidence.

well.. thurston haircut - YES
beatles... not so much xP

actually thats what i hated about high school, everyone in very limited groups, for example uni's shaping up much differently

i used to be shy (prob from 13-15), now im just rarely.. still it usually takes an effort talking with new people
you just grow out of it, though putting effort into it makes it a lot easier.
i dont put my music interests as n1 priority, and thank god i dont as im still to find people who like sy.
still, i choose my own friends as i have no fun in being with most of what is prob in high school called 'the cool group'. but thats because once you start studying past yr 11 you realise how stupid half of them are

theres really no point in closing in yourself/music too much.




and zero, we're on a internet forum. what the hell were you expecting xD

Yeah true. There are a shitload of cosmic moments on this board.

people is often just greedy. they want shit from you and that's all it really is. so well, sometimes the only approach that I can think of is "fuck it".

I made this decision a good year ago: I don't WANT company. I'm extremely popular, everyone likes me, I have no enemies, etc............ but all these people constantly going, "Hey man let's hang out!"? I used to hang out with EVERYBODY until I realized most people just want to sit around and get stoned all the time. Or most people just want something from me. Most importantly, EVERYONE wants me to visit them, and they'll never come visit me. Almost everyone around me has no job, no goals, etc. and I don't look down upon them, except when they get pissed cuz you don't have as much free time as they do... So, as it is, I have 2 or 3 really close friends who I see all the time now, who have ideals and "morals" similiar to mine (it's not that I MIND getting stoned, but there's so much more better to do than that -- like cough syrup!). Basically, my close friends like El Topo as much as me. And my acquaintances just go, "Hmm, that moviez weird. Weed."

I'm not so sure that applying the concepts of ''greedy'', ''evil'' or ''good'' always works when dealing with people in general. I seriously think that 90% of individuals are simply inept when it comes to dealing with other individuals. This I've learnt from simple observing of how people interact with each other socially and non.

It goes beyond the concept of liking or disliking a person, it's more to do with trying to understand why someone behaves in a certain way, even when you know well that they know that their ways are not so much wrong, but not fitting in the long term.

I use the term fitting in a loose way, as I am sure the concept of outsiderdom is something that is ever so popular on a website like this. Fitting as in doing or thinking or saying the right thing when prompted, keeping your cool and being in control of a tricky situation, not in the widespread meaning that normally is associated with it.

And yes, I am a very popular person too, probably because deep down I think I'm always right and I got the right amount of certain chemicals in my moral habits. Or else the boundaries are set firmly where they should stand.

Nefeli, you are a very wise lady. There is nothing left for me to say after that post.

I'm happy to say that although I despise most of the monkey-men on this planet, my one good friend is the best there is.

I've known him for almost 20 years now, we have the same likes, he's smart and funny. there is never any drama.

I might spend a few hours a day talking on the phone to him, but I only get to hang out with him every few months (he lives 3 hours away in Dallas).

I know that no matter what, the guy has my back. there may be less than 5 people EVER in my lifetime that I could say this about unequivocally.

I've got one like that.
Except mine lives here, and he's a gay guy that looks like Rasputin.

Rasputin scares me. :(

my friend isn't gay, but he's often opinionated about what is gay and what's not. normally I wouldn't place much thought into it, however, he's a pro. a year of working in a gay porn store has given him a keen eye.

for example....text messaging other guys: "gay"

a few weeks ago, he got an unlimited text message plan and keeps sending me messages.

do you think I should be worried?

my social life has taken a severe whack to the balls over the last 2-3 years.

over the last few years i've been pretty unhappy with the way some things have been panning out and having various major items playing on my mind has basically removed my capacity for small talk and chit chat.

people would text/msg me, some still do, asking how i am, but i find it pretty much impossible to draft a reply worth a damn. so either i do reply and they get bored after 5 minutes because it's forced and not natural, or i don't and they think i'm just being a jerk.

to stop myself going nuts i've occupied my time with various dorky pursuits, like astronomy, some coding, radio and a lot of music and reading.

it's just a phase though. i'll work things out.

itotallyunderstandyou.