one time i destroyed a tamborine by banging on it like if it was a drum, i was like five and in kindergarden, my mom had to buy a new one.

a sexy ones, blowjobs, facials, etc. i'm not telling you that.

pervs.

One time I sneaked a look at my sister's titties.

how pure and innocent most of you. i feel like the dirty man-pig i actually am.

yep, you can always count on me for a coarse anecdote. i'm frequently betrayed by my lower instincts.

One time my sister smashed her ice cream cone in her face when my dad drove over a bump in the road, and I laughed.

ha ha ha ha aha ha ha

i dont know if it is because i just woke up, but that is fucking funny!!!

oh shit! i just noticed the photoshopped logo, hahahahahahaha!

I'm a good girl, I wont lie. I did more bad ass things when I was a kid. I wont even tell you because you'll think I'm a bad person haha. Actually it could be written on the board somewhere but I don't feel like telling people. I'd like to forget about it.

ha ha, i don't know. i think children are naturally evil. me on the other hand i was a good boy and only started in the slippery slope of moral degradation when i became a teenager. i have attempted some half-assed reforms in recent years, but the damage is already done. :p

One time when I was a kid we were going to a rodeo because we got free tickets. On the way there my dad gave me a pack of cherry gum and because I am and have always been a gum fiend I chewed the whole pack. I didn't know what to do with the pieces when I was done so I stuck them on the inside of the door, like on the handle kind of. My dad was fucking pissed at me, but the gum was there until we got rid of the car haha. Come to think of it that car was blown up for a movie, because my dad used to have his pyrotechnics license.
Anyways, I can't smell or have cherry gum without thinking about this.

one tie when i was a kid we were all getting ready to travel to perth, and i had something in the car that i wanted to get out but the car was locked. I picked p a stick from the ground and tried to pick the lock , instead of picking the lock i just got the stick stuck in the key hole, dad was really pissed off but he didnt know it was me

Really? You never did anything bad as a child that stands out in your mind? I kind of settled down once I became a teenager and I guess since I started smoking weed. I have done some bad things though in my 'older' years haha.

One time me and my friends were sitting baked around a camp fire just talking about how my other friend down the road had some plants. We decided it would be an awesome idea to steal them. So we hooked up a wagon like this one to the back of a bike with bungee cords (only it was the older version, the red one if anyone knows what I'm talking about. I couldn't find a picture):

We biked down to his house (one person with the wagon bike) left the bikes in the bush and went and grabbed the plants which were outside in a pot. The plants were carried down the road to the bush, strapped in, and covered in a garbage bag haha. They were fucking huge. My friend's sister's boyfriend took them to his house downtown and didn't give us shit all. He said they gave him hardly anything anyway. I'm still pissed about it haha. We didn't take all of the plants though, there was another pot. Since I was friend's with the guy he gave me some muffins he made with what he got from the remaining plants and that was sick.
I'm a horrible friend, or I was. I would never do that now.

one time I got caught trying to make mustard gas.

:)





do you know why they are called one times?

(it's part of the call-in to dispatch after they arrest you)

one time i saw my sister-in-law's clit piercing. i saw her nipples, which were also pierced, on numerous occasions. (her tits had a tendency to pop out of the clothes she wore.)

ha ha ok.

first, sorry for the spastic pace of my conversation, but i'm packing the last boxes of junk from my house (a job i detest), and cleaning up the place (a job i detest even more), and i can only post during my breaks, which are sporadic.

im going to take a cue from your posts and try to forget this thread was started with blowjobs, and see if i can scare up some childhood memory. let's see...


one time, i must have been 4 or 5, i was on the breakfast table playing with my chemistry set, which my lunatic parents had handed me without the slightest of warnings, when i decided to heat up some shit i had randomly mixed up in a test tube, and then corked up. now i had the alcohol burner on, put the holder wire thing around the tube, and applied the ass of the tube be to flame. the little fucker decided right then to explode without a warning, while i was holding it-- the cork flew into the ether, like a small cannonball, and the hot boiling chemicals, after blowing up some monster bubbles, splattered onto the ceiling, leaving some nasty marks (blue, which i think were due to the ever-cool-looking aluminium sulphate). i think i could have lost my eyesight in that one, if the cork hadn't given up first.

by the way, your dad had a pyrotechnics license and his car blew up in a movie? that is cool as shit. can i play with him?

one time i ate three sugarcubes oblivious to the fact that they had been triple-dipped until hours later when it became obvious that i had simultaneously become a deity, died and gone to hell leaving my dead body on the couch while i now occupied two separate, but co-existing universes both stuck in time loops - one where i am perpetually chopping the same head of cabbage for some sort of sisyphean salad, and the other where i am looking at my own skeleton 1000 years in the future, still on the couch where i died. later i became the universe.

Awesome...... :D

One time I wrote a book. It was almost 250 pages. It was decent. It made me feel a variety of emotions. Then, one time I woke up in the middle of the night read the whoel thing straight through and deleted it. I hated that book.

...actually, now that i think about it, the realization that i had taken far more than i thought didn't come until 36 hours later when i awoke in my own bed with an overwhelming feeling that i had never been here before and that it was possibly some sort of simulation, because what i had experienced over the past day and a half was far more real by comparison.:rolleyes:

one time I met a child of satan. she arrived with goose-egg track marks from 5 year-old morphine, yet she still managed to eat through my stashes of various chemicals and protective wards.

despite her night-long liturgy of murder parties, industrial music personalities and black majick rituals, all I could think was "man, she has dirty feet".

later that night (after finding gawd), a beam of light told me that my grandmother was about to die. being the kind of guy that NEVER argues with a beam of light, I quit my job and moved back to LA in two weeks.

these sugarcubes?




i'll eat the one with the sweet cheekbones

god. That's so sad.

one time... Might have been tonight...I ended up talking to a sad man who had a bad case of post traumatic stress from working x-ray in a trauma center. He bought me beers though. I might have played gay chippendale bar computer games and left my friends full name as the top score.

salopet?

i thought you were using some franch slang based on salope ... my vocab for clothing was obviously never as good as my cussing vocab.

One time, when I was the photography editor of my senior year high school yearbook, I was using the computer that stored all the finished data of the yearbook and it froze. The teacher/yearbook adviser told us to never force power down the computer if this happened but since I was a cocky bastard I did it anyway. The teacher and a computer tech took the rest of the day trying to restore the data, which they finally did.

I kind of wish it was deleted because, one, instant high school infamy and, two, because I was only in that class because my school canceled their photography course.

go back and torch it,
you will be popular.

I have no real desire to approach it or any yearbooks. I hate yearbooks. Waste of paper and attention.

One time my friend, the same Danny Brown as above, over recess in 5th grade double-dog dared me to run after him and pretend like I wanted to kiss him, and I refused at first, and then he called me chicken, and because I hated being called chicken, I took him up on it--and then when we got back inside, he went to the teacher and told him what I had done, and the teacher got this very concerned look on his face, and--in front of the entire class--gave me a very stern lecture about how in this society men don't go around kissing other men.

Danny Brown, wherever you are, I hope you're a happy and well-adjusted man.

never ever argue with a beam of light.

good advice. in my experience, they are never wrong.

overalls! for some reason i thought they were an american thing!

One time when I was 14, I got a blowjob at Lowes.

We snuck in between two aisles and were surrounded by doors and windows and shit.

was it this guy?

Lowe's

Let's build something together.

One Time I was walking around a bayou in Hosuton, around age 13, and I found a hardcore porno magazine in the bushes. I choked the chicken out in the middle of nature for all of jeebus' creatures to see.

one time i almost got arrested for drinking in public but argued my way out of it while being drunk as shit.

that one time was last night.

one time when I was 17/18 I got a bj in tech class in the room that stores some rarely used equipment.

one time when I was 17 I got hammered at work (grocery store) and threw knives in the cooler.

one time, (now) I can't remember doing anything cool ever.

One time I got so drunk I passed out and fell asleep on the bar. Woke up the next morning and noticed I was the only one in the entire building. I had crawl over a large fence to get out. People were looking at me like I was some kind of junkie who just robbed the entire place. Pretty embarrassing

One time I was tripping and I saw various little angel versions of me flying around and cutting heads off of other angels.