psh you were the most pretentious ass on this board. enjoy your atp you bougie fuck traveling to multiple countries while i don't leave about a 8 block radius.

fuck you

Jade, dear, don't even worry about it. i'm p sure you shared it anyways.


I've got quite a few lined up. Miss you, dude.


FB: Hayden Jo Leroy
twitter: @officialaynrand
tumblr: haydenwriting



i might not be back for a while as I didn't expect to be mocked by some bougie fucking washed up model thanks T&B for that. "hmmmmmm he is suffering mental illness let's fill three pages with mocking and 4 helpful posts"

fixed

hope the donations are helping dude!

im thinking about donating but im wondering why you got beat up in the first place? what did you do? i mean hurroin obviously but what else, were you stealing money for hurroin?

Internet Pee-pull

...These are the reasons why I have turned to pessimism. These are already the positions of contemporary pessimists- although there are other varieties of pessimism that are more metaphysical and less scientistic in nature. I have turned to pessimism then because the “objective nihilism” revealed to us by Darwinism, neuroscience, technoscience, the multiple thoughts and threats of extinction and- allow me my own favourite speculation- the possibility that the human race is nature’s suicidal impulse. That post-nihilist praxis is about finding ways of living in and through nihilism in among the ruins of the semantic and material collapses means that it cannot not be pessimistic.

Ultimately pessimism is the judgement that it would have been better never to have been born because coming into existence is a harm rife with meaningless and pointless suffering that cannot be redeemed. All that exists is sorrow and even our joys are tricks or cons played on us to keep us going, to keep us getting through the day. The moment that post-nihilist praxis departs from this is in the assertion that as long as one keeps on living one is still in the search for a method of coping until the organism finally gives up. But the pessimist also says this and if the post-nihilist pragmatist hasn’t accepted that the world is horror and misery even with its legitimate moments and stretches of happiness then she hasn’t been paying attention to the outcomes that motivated her search to begin with.

In short the pragmatist who is not share the depressive realism of the pessimist is either still in the pre-nihilistic phase or has leapt clear out of the water and back into the comfortable island of denialism.

HAYDENS LIVE 24/7 CAM FOR SKAG FANTASIA





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HIS SEXY SUGAR BUM..



AIN'T GONNA TWERK ITSELF

It's sadly hilarious how the avowed communists / socialists / self-proclaimed superior moralists are utter damnable shit when it comes to dealing with an actual person.

im really nice and meek irl u have no idea

lets not pretend we arent all fascinated by the prospect of seeing just how low i can go

A guy who we have never met and have no reason to trust wants money to publish a book and it's bad that it's not taken seriously?

Have you read any Thomas Ligotti? I can see you liking Conspiracy Against the Human Race.

My cousin told me to buck up and i said "i don't need your hypermasc advice rn damon" and then he threw me on the tile floor and threw me into my grandpa's car and broke open a sebaceous cyst so far we owe like 12k with 3 ER visits and I still have the cyst as the state is being a pain in my ass w/ insurance.

my cousin is like my mom's best friend(who is a horrible bitch who literally still tells people i'm on heroin/meth/whatever drug she can think of. ema used to post on here as 2good4u she was my best friend since i was 6 and she just up and stopped talking to me even though i'm not using any drugs beyond the necessary benzos and mood stabilizers atm(and pot)

This is a forum I've been a member of for 13 years and have met members of. You didn't need to be a fucking cunt. Just don't share or donate then.

I'm really glad you guys all just keep gaslighting me and telling me it's for fucking heroin or adderall(really? adderall?) as i am in a mental, physical and financial crisis. An old school teacher funded the book but that money is FOR THE BOOK and the costs of it so it doesn't help me very much.

i'm going to stop asking about your situation here because it's become an excuse for people to act like they've never made mistakes or needed help from anyone.

as oscar wilde put it (more or less) morality is the attitude we have towards people we personally dislike. well, shit, i still like you, so i don't give a fuck about whether you're on the right or the wrong on this one, or the purity of your morals, or if you're good at managing donations, etc. really i don't give a shit. you're okay by me and i wish you well.

i don't know if n'ik and you got along back in ancient times (n'ik = dead battery) but i'm gonna guess not because he's using you as an excuse to philosophize about big abstractions he cannot control, like "the world" and "humanity". it's great to be on mt. olympus looking down at earth. i remember him back in the day asking for money for a train ticket though. maybe it was for heroin.

as for t&b, classic gauche caviar.

wrong


jammin with zevon


booze, cigs, coke, weed, carb salt fats and sugars more like

you're taking it all too seriously

yeah big fan

right, cuz you're not mr. touchy himself

So wait, its only page 2 but is officially time to SYG derail this thread? I am thinking yes.

You must spread some Oscar Wilde around before giving it to Genteel Death again

good. but that underworld is coming for you whether you like it or not if you're still in the "i can just cut out x aspect of my addiction" stage. which everyone is technically until they die and end their oxygen/fuel addiction.

my permanent downer trip is its own reward, since all men are slaves to the darkness that comes before

taste the darkness it's been waiting

the sooner i die the better. my only good friend died years ago, the rest will be dead soon enough. pretty much everyone else i have nothing to say to.

cooley went at 28. haydens having his meltdown because he's getting smacked in the face by american capitalist realism. they work far longer hours than us and have no health benefits and the dole is worse. he got punched for complaining about it which is tantamount to reminding people of their own pain and allowing them the sensation of power over it they get from beating someone else down. also it seems he's the victim of in group dynamics now that his parents got their financial shit in order. we know from science that exclusion due to being the out group target of an ingroup leads to addiction and serious issues. so hayden be careful, i noticed that your mother was talking with your boyfriend. this could end up with them forming an alliance and them all moving on at your expense. you're gonna be the "bad one" that cant get his shit together and they'll single you out then you'll start getting all the flak with all these subtle mental jujitsu moves that hold out the hope they will help you but are really about punishing you and making you fail. its an attack on your sense of self and reality. at least this is how it seems from what YOU say so who knows.

the only sane response is to get your head down and get DARK. get a cash stash that only YOU know about and start being very careful. all this emotional vulnerability and pain will turn to hardened scar tissue over time. just expect more punches and prepare. understand that you are being set up to fail. your body is a rapidly obsolescing commodity and the summer of its hedonistic use value is drawing to a permanent close.

all this narcissistic diary stuff is about romanticising yourself, but noone cares. you are probably nutritionally depleted from all those drugs and need to think rationally about what you consume rather than hedonistically.

basically, all that money you have spent on drugs would be far better spent on useful things.

im stockpiling to avoid homelessness and building whatever cash sources i can.

what i really want is to go off grid but i'd have to kill myself there since coming back would be disaster.

trying to stop addiction is futile since you're just prolonging life which is suffering, addiction usually has to get so bad and scary that you prefer sobriety but if slipping into addiction offers you any brief release or drama at all you'll probably do it. really, talking is a waste of time because it will ONLY be better once we're all dead.

for some reason, i imagine getting punched in the face quite a lot now. i dont know why, i suppose its a distraction from thinking about suicide. i kind of want that pain for some reason. i guess some people have the same urge only to be the puncher which is worse

the question for humanity is how much violence/abuse/drugs/ridicule/entertainment/distraction/pathologization/shame/scapegoating/pharameceutical brain damage profiteering/denial they can pile onto people whose facade of positivity cracks under the strain, or perhaps there are in built mechanics that cause say jihadists to genocide us to reset what the permissable topics of expression are when we get too reflective? either way its extinction for the human race and nothing but pointless time wasting, pain and willed confusion for every remaining second we spend avoiding suicide (which is impossible). stay positive yall!

theres a really good suicide bridge near me but i would go insane on the way down so i dont know about that. nembutal or helium maybe

but i will probably* suicide bomb the suicide prevention charity first in revenge for the billboards they put up saying "manuary, the month when despite no money things will get better"

then i'll kill myself afterwards

*disclaimer for ghcq, i wont actually do this lol

the problem with suicide is that it doesnt stop the problem from recurring since more humans will be borne and matter will end up reconfigured into new people who will just be back at the same place killing themselves over and over again. of course when we are extinct it will be over but we cant then know that extinction will be eternal. the only solution would be to leave some machine or thing behind that could scan the universe for any sign of life and destroy it before it occurs again but who knows if this is even possible. of course we should still die as soon as possible and in the least conscious way possible but the problem just keeps starting over and over again. its a terrible situation from every perspective. i dont think the concept of individuality means anything or has any real correlate to something that actually exists and there is obviously no clear line demarcating conscious entities but thinking about that aspect of things becomes very confusing very fast. the only "good" thing is that we can at least know we're gonna die and we're always forced into it whether we like it or not eventually.

Dead battery stop boguting Hayden thread create yr own bitch and moan thread

Even if youre arreligious you should still keep the Bible around its good literature about the complexities of the human experience kind of like a tool album

And sometimes i think dead battery does serious damage to MY brain but i love that fucker anyway

Sounds like everyone needs a good bath and some soup

way to ruin an otherwise perfectly reasonable point

Yeah, it's really that good and don't fucking try it