i've always found that the anticipation of this act is far better than the outcome-- in other words, a bit of a letdown. i mean, at first it can look really fucking good to poke that ass, but during it's kind of a weird sensation, sort of hollow in a way, and in the end it always smells of caca.

nothing like the sweet rocknroll of the holy grotto, i mean, when those walls start to shake and contract, there's nothing like it on this planet except maybe a furious hungry tongue with the right barbell on it. at it smells sweet.

marry me

yeah...since when?

i've always been enticed by the delights of polygamy.

that of course would mean we'd have to kill your boyfriend.

are you sure about this??

let me get back to you on that

yeah. precipitous marriages always end badly.

secret flings, on the other hand, are often great.

ahahah yes they are

i got over my guilt real fast....

guilt? what is that?

wait, it's supposed to be SECRET.

otherwise it's a different kind of fling sane people should have no time for.

who said i was sane?

ah, jerry springer types! you ruin it for everybody else.

i only ruin it for everyone if someone crosses me

oh yeah and we have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy in my house

right, but on occasion the timing is not always like you wish and shit happens.

that slut who cheated on you should have kept her trap shut (i mean her mouth, not her cunt--too late for thZat) and spare your dignity. in other words, i don't condemn her treason (necessary for her perhaps), but her indiscretion.

thats not what i mean.

i mean that people who fuck and tell ruin it for everybody else. men who fuck and tell are the worst kind of scum. and women who fuck and tell are to be pitied.

i always keep my mouth shut. (this doesn't count)
if whoever i've slept with wants to go and tell all his mates how mindblowing it was i don't rly give a fuck ;)


i only love one man. sex =/= love

ha ha, good one, and yeah maybe,

so wait, you're actually TELLING here? i started with hypotheticals and you're ready to make your confession. well, since you're being indiscreet, swhat are you telling exactly? details, please.

jerrry! jerry! jerry! jerry!

I have cheated on my previous gf in the past.

ha ha sure thing, ideally yes, but in practice, sometimes the signal comes too late.

either way, sure, i'm not saying keep the lies going, and yeah things feel different, but one doesn't have to go and flaunt the skidmarked undies captured, no?

what do you want me to say exactly...?

i don't know. you seem to be hinting at something you're not spelling out.

that's the conversational equivalent of cockteasing. petite allumeuse!

eh, you're a better person than i am


me, i like to keep certain things to myself. it's more fun that way.


it depends. it's not always a sex thing. it's not like "hey, bigboy, lemme suck you" and i'm like "oh yeah here stuff this sausage in your piehole". no no no. stuff happens in more subtle and terrible ways and then you realize it's too late.


yeah neither do i. ive had girlfriends with low self esteem who had the need to make out with strangers while they were drunk, but i never took it personally. did i despise them? no doubt! did i take it as a "shame on me" personal criticism of me? fuck no! the drunken slut! but anyway, ha ha ha, wtf.

so i forget where i was going with this. i'm waiting for 6am which is when the storage opens and i can go get my shit.