Sometimes I like calling my wife and telling her I miss her and I love her. Boy, do I get a kick out of that! Ha ha!

Strangely, it works with my dad and my kids, too!!

If you move to a new house, you should call Pizza Hut and order 15 pizzas for your neighbor.

When the pizzas show up and the neighbor is shocked, walk over and explain that you ordered the pizzas, write the pizza man a check, and help your neighbor carry the pizzas inside.

Sit down with their family and share one pizza, and really just get to know one another.

After dinner, spend the next half hour helping them wrap the remaining pizzas in aluminum foil and put them in the freezer to reheat later.

Then that night, when they are sleeping, throw toilet paper all over their house.

hahahaha

yeah ha ha ha. funny that.

Ha ha.

We all crack us up, don't we.

I checked with a friend of mine who works for the phone company, and it turns out I screwed this up, although I don't know what the hell a refrigerator has to do with it. In any case, the call is supposed to go like this:

You call someone and ask if their sofa is "on the loose," not if it's "running." And if they say yes, then you say, in your best cowboy voice, "Well I reckon you better git yer boots on, saddle up and go rope that doggie in! Yee-ha!"

Does that make more sense now?

Bea Arthur doesn't seem to think it's funny--BECAUSE SHE'S FUCKING DEAD!

Do you really live in New York City?

Yes. Why?

I dunno. I figured NYers for being more clever.

It's all starting to make perfect sense now.

Why would you figure that? A clever person would know better.

summer.

how does this make you feel?

One of my favourite things to do when I get a prank callers at work is to put them on hold and go to the toilet/ make a cup of tea/ have a natter to someone else.

my friend recently called foot locker, crying, and said 'my daughter got hit by a car and her shoes flew off. we lost the receipt can we still return them?' '..uh.. yes. sure. of course.' 'they're pretty scuffed up and there's blood on one of them, is that okay?' '...yeah sure.'

and the woman seemed really genuine and caring about it all.

i thought that one was pretty funny.

Damnit gmku, you've become such a punk, lately. You and your sarcasm!

I'm not sure this is really a "prank" but we used to order a pizza from pizza hut when we were younger, me and all my skater friends. Like a large with specific toppings and breadsticks and everything. They'd say pick up in 20 or so, then we'd call back ten minutes later and cancel it.

But pizza hut can't throw away food until the end of the day, they always give it out to poor ppl or something I guess. Like you can ask if there's anything they're throwing away and they'll give it to ya.

So then there was this retarded guy who was like 40 and always road his bike around everywhere, kinda sad but a nice dude and we'd always have him go to pizza hut and ask and they'd give him OUR pizza haha. We'd give him a slice, take the rest, and then go back to skating.


This was a once a month thing, and it kicked ass.

I tend to agree with the opinion of the former editor of "Shock Xpress" mag, in that all pranksters should be rewarded for their japery by being dumped into the nearest tank of boiling lard.

Having said that, I did once arrange for a workmate to call a "friend" of mine (in the guise of being a policeman) to let said "friend" know that the law were onto him about his dodgy insurance fraud scam. Oh how I laughed.

Couldn't we just wipe our asses with toilet paper and then TP someones house. Double the pleasure.