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-   -   thread for writers (http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/showthread.php?t=30065)

Dr. Eugene Felikson 04.06.2009 03:22 PM

:) Thank you.

Kegmama 04.06.2009 04:03 PM

Everyone's stuff is really good. I love these threads where people share their talents. I am addicted to Jenn's blogs. She is genius I tell you, genius!

jennthebenn 04.06.2009 04:07 PM

*snoopy dances till her heart rate goes up to like 187*

I'll be in Cali for whatever shows SY play out there this summer, it's about
time we actually meet! Hopefully Patrick can come, dependent on his
job. He's a pretty big deal at the chocolate shop.

Kegmama 04.06.2009 04:15 PM

Oh we are SO hooking up! I plan to go to as many of their gigs here as I can. Hope Patrick can come too. We could all go to Knotts Berry Farm/Snoopy's house too, its cheap. :)




Back on topic, my contribution to this thread. Song I am working on, hoping to record soon; each line is opposite of line prior, hence the title, etc...
Contradiction
BY: KARLIE GRAY (KEGMAMA) ©


Needing you more, but wanting it less,
Feeling content yet my heart’s not at rest.
Satisfied and happy, but confusion sets in,
Knowing where to start, but not where to begin.

I’m found and surrounded, yet lost and alone,
Feeling so little, but I know that I’ve grown.
Eager and helpless, yet patient and strong,
Knowing what’s right, but feeling so wrong.

Contradiction, Affliction baby- Afflicted, Addicted… (chorus x2)

My heart beats, yet I’m dead inside,
I want to be out, but instead I hide.
Masking emotions that rage within
Knowing where I’ve gone, but not where I’ve been.

Sexy and strong, yet ugly and weak,
I’m a virgin whore, an exciting bore, yeah.
Sick and tired, yet well and awake,
How can something real, be so fake?

Contradiction, Affliction baby- Afflicted, Addicted… (chorus x2)

Running and screaming, while I walk quietly along,
This is the beginning, to the end of my song…

thindarkduke13 04.07.2009 05:55 PM

My short story. DOn't steal it, fuckers!

"Are you done in there?" Carl rapped at the bathroom door and whined, "I’m lonely."
"Aren’t we all?" Suzie quipped, "I know sweetie. Almost done here. Be a doll and get me a drink please?" with all the sarcastic yearning on "please". Carl didn’t answer and walked to the kitchen to pull out some bottles he put away five minutes ago. He paid no attention to the brand names and labels and poured based on color. He tried it and grimaced. Still, it was alcohol; greedily he drank some more, walked back to the family room and stretched out on the couch. Suzie emerged grinning.
"You’re very smiley. What did you do?" Carl suspiciously asked.
"How do you know I did something? I could just be happy."
"My son is all teeth when he’s guilty as sin; nothing serious, just stealing and hiding something of ours." Suzie fell onto the couch, almost on top of him and replied innocently.
"I never took anything."
"Not this time."
"What do you mean?"
"You really thought I wouldn’t notice you wearing my wife’s shoes? She grounded our son because she figured he did something with them." Suzie’s face drooped.
"I feel terrible, Carl. Poor thing. Well, it’s a good thing I wore them today. I’ll just put ‘em away now. Tell your wife you found them, I don’t know. Someplace weird."
"I’ll think of something."
"Ya know, from what I’ve heard, she’s kind of a bitch." Carl’s face twisted in offence, but softened to a stern expression.
"She is not a bitch. She’s very sweet and I love her."
"Then why am I here?" An offended Suzie demanded.
"Because you’re fun."
"She’s not?"
"A different kind. You’re outgoing, sociable. Like me. She’s quiet and sometimes she says I can irritate her. You know, with my 'loudness'."
"If we have so much in common, why didn’t you marry me?"
"Well, I didn’t know you then. And two, I’m in politics. Politicians marry Jackie, not Marilyn." Suzie crept off the couch to her feet to look down upon him.
"I’m not classy enough for you?"
"I wasn’t that harsh. Besides you don’t even like politics. It drives you crazy. You said it yourself!"
"I know, it just upset me that you think I wouldn’t be respectable to be seen with. But you’re right, I would hate it. I’ll go and put these shoes back." Suzie twirled and walked to the back of the house. Carl sat staring, wondering whether he made a mistake bringing Suzie to his home, to his life. Weighing the outcomes of breaking up with her, he took a gulp of the drink Suzie ignored.
Suzie emerged grinning. Modeling his wife’s red dress, shoes and tight bun hair, she strutted down the hallway to the family room. Carl sat staring.
"Jesus Christ."
"Guess who I am." Suzie cooed. Carl pushed himself off the couch to be face to face with her.
"Suzie, this is not normal. Go put these back," He glanced at the wall clock. "Damn! She’ll be home any second. Hurry up!"
"Who will be home? I’m your wife. Do you have another woman in your life?" She jealously demanded.
"I’m warning you. Put the clothes back."
"They’re mine!" Carl’s hand flew and made contact with Suzie’s face with a crack. She stood stoically erect, the tears welling up belying her defiant stance. Unnerved, Carl began stammering.
"I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I just lost…" The garage door opened. "Damn. Please Suzie. I’ll call you. You parked across the street, right?" Suzie nodded. "OK, the back door will be closest."
"What about the clothes?"
"She never wears that. Just go, I’ll think of something." Suzie walked to the back door as Carl rushed to meet his wife at the front; she opened the door just as he did. She heard his warm welcome and his wife's loving responses and how he repeated her name in their talk. She slammed the door and listened. Suzie heard a "What was that?" and strutted back to the family room.

Glice 04.08.2009 05:11 PM

I've been agonising about my relationship with hyphens lately. I had a period of being overly fond of parentheses (y'know, like this) but I decided they lack balls. Because balls are very important to writing. Now a hyphen - the little line things - they're good; the problem is using them too much. You can't go wrong with a semi-colon: brilliant fuckers they are. But I use the everything-hyphen like I think I'm Shakespeare-incarnate. It's doing my own head in. I probably think too much about writing to actually write. Better, some might say, than writing something bad. I think I'd agree with those some.

Anyway, you all carry on, you seem like you're having so much fun.

demonrail666 04.08.2009 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glice
I've been agonising about my relationship with hyphens lately.


The single best sentence in the history of messageboards...











































































































ever

Better_Than_You 04.09.2009 01:35 AM

abstraction in f sharp


big claws&rabies spit.
bite bite bite.

its all you seem
to do.

well sir
now that i'm sick
i'll foam at the mouth
too.

&we'll see who
kills who.
be it teeth to the neck
or knife to the chest

i'll make a ruin
out of you.

Kloriel 04.14.2009 11:00 PM

I wrote this on a sunny day while sitting on a sun-warmed granite slab with a picnic basket and a treacherous whore:


And that was when I learned
About lying sluts
With dream worlds that fucking hack
Your meager ego
Assail the vulnerable with
With pretense and whoreific
Sales

Hang sluts with diamond
Barbs
Chained bitches
Chop chop
Them up and feed directly to
The motha fuckin’ Tarrassque
Fuck you

Alex's Trip 04.19.2009 09:33 PM

Four Poems:

I.

I got spit shine
in my eyes
making the world
sparkle like diamonds
in the headlights
of an oncoming
steam roller.
Slow slow shimmers,
shattered under weight
like the skulls of
more interesting wrecks.
Spin shine is still spit
and you have to be rich
to find out if diamonds
really shatter.

II.

Shoot myself through the cheeks
with candy bullets.
Youth is
dwindling
into the future.

III.

A moth out side my window
struggles against the pane of glass,
trying to get to an old touch activated lamp.
It is brainless,
it is inconsequential,
this moth,
and yet there it is.

IV.

On weekends, the house maid
comes to clean the houses.
She doesn't speak English,
sadly, naturally,
but there is no awkward
chit-chat.

I find the loneliest spots
in this home-owner association
bull-shit,
to escape something about her.
Her detergent dry hands
probably work another job too.

I get back, and she's finished up.
I ask the poor lady,
can I give her a lift anywhere
she needs to be?
Another job, or her home?
And she accepts.

So I took her out there,
to a crowded trailer park,
and I guess I felt horrible.
I got back to the home,
clean as ever,
and continued to be a mess.

deflinus 04.19.2009 09:48 PM

hey you -
you look like someone i know
from long ago
the hands were writing
warped soul tedious creations

hey you -
let me sing songs into your vagina
the dark despair in between your legs
i'm leaving this place
i'm leaving you

Glice 04.20.2009 04:39 PM

Listless patina:
A whistful smattering
Of whimsy
Despoiled the chair, leg.

Danny Himself 04.20.2009 04:48 PM

APRIL 20TH

Today we went for a
picnic
and
you
put a daisy in your
hair
and i wanted to
shag
you


APRIL 20TH PT. II

We were in Tesco
and saw
Keith and his son
in the
DVD section
they
were
probably buying
something raunchy
to watch
together
because they are
weird bastards
aren't
they


APRIL 20TH PT. III

I have needed
a piss
for ages now
but I can't
be
arsed
getting up
and going
down the hall
so I'm just
going
to
try and
forget about
it

Kloriel 04.20.2009 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex's Trip
Four Poems:


like the skulls of
more interesting wrecks.
Spin shine is still spit




great lines there, didn't care for most of the rest

Alex's Trip 04.20.2009 09:20 PM

Thanks :D

Kloriel 04.20.2009 09:21 PM

Shaka - I like the start of a verse narrative, more people need to be doing this rather than relying on lyrical verse etc. but I couldn't follow your thread

Kloriel 04.20.2009 09:23 PM

danny, can you simplify all of that? cut a bunch out and i don't think you'll lose the point

Better_Than_You 04.20.2009 11:28 PM

I disagree Kloriel. I think the simplicity of the subject matter mirrors well with the long, almost drawn out lengths of the peices. like, he's saying 'my 4/20 was long and the only parts that are worthy of their own line are subordinate clauses'

this may sound like i'm being a bitch, but i really really liked it, Danny, and i think what you wrote goes really well with the structure.

Kloriel 04.21.2009 12:35 AM

yes, I agree 'bout simplicity, but would it be possible to convey the long/drawn out lapse of time without the long drawn out chopped sentences? Can the passages be condensed and still carry that sense?

You're not a bitch for disagreeing with Lord Kloriel. I"m just happy people are posting writing.

pbradley 04.21.2009 12:45 AM

I'm just going to repost this here, if you don't mind:

Evol poem.

"Find it in a girl."
From a thousand years ago.
She knows how to make love.
In panic, I forget it.
And then I kiss her stomach.
My mother used to say,
Over and over,
"Find the meaning of feeling good."


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