| phoenix |
11.14.2008 10:14 PM |
disclaimer; I don't judge, and every single relationship is different but imho;
cheating in my mind is defined very easily by two simple points, and can be both or just one.
its something that your partner does not like, and hurts them emotionally
it is something that if you are doing it, and your partner does not know about it, that it is something that you DONT want to tell them, because you either fear them telling you to stop, or what they'll say or that they'll leave.
so, its something that involves guilt on the doer, AND OR hurt in the partner who is not participating.
It doesnt matter how when or where. That is the definition to me. I dont really understand how anyone could think otherwise, but again, every single person and relationship out there is different and thats what makes people individuals.
I've been hurt so many times by so many people by things which don't involve anything physical or which might not affect someone else who isnt in the same situation. The fact that it has hurt, means to me, that it is cheating someone out of either the option to opt out of the relationship based on all the FACTS, or cheating them out of the feeling of security in a relationship that comes with being monogomous or faithful or even just not having an open trust because you both agree to whatever you both get into. If both parties are happy to sleep with other people or see other people or have extra relationships in second life, then its fine. If it hurts one of the people in the relationship, then its cheating. No matter how geeky it might be or no matter how much the OTHER person who is doing it might not think it is cheating.
I know people IRL who have met over WOW, used to live in seperate countries and are now married living together... they have a pretty awesome relationship, and are happy. So.. internet doesnt mean its not real or you can't meet someone who you get along with just the same as you can IRL.. it is real life.. just a little differently laid out. I also know of at least three other couples that I can think of online who have also met online and moved from a different country to get married and live together.
I think in this situation in the article, the guy is an asshole for abusing the same method he used to meet his wife, and believe that she wouldnt think it meant anything.. but the woman is also probably a little blind to not have asked before hand if this is a big part of his life that he doesnt want to part with (internet socialising and dating whatev.)
I think its cheating. But more because they werent honest with each other and didn't discuss it or give the other person the choice if they wanted to have their relationship that way.
so yes. my 2 cents.
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