That's the lamest excuse for coprophilia I've ever heard (and believe me, I've heard them all).

There is a porn thing out there that shows someone taking a shit on a glass table while someone is masturbating underneath it.

One of my better films, I think you'll agree.

I keep trying to bite sarramkrop's arse in public situations.
I'm not gay enough.
I love the Ting Tings.

I'm really shy, but if I feel the need tom open up to you, I'll never shut up.
I do tend to talk too much, which leaves me in compromising situations at times.
I hate hopeless romantics, but I am, at basic levels, myself one.
I am also, at basic levels, a heartless bastard.

Metaphorically still in the same territory, innit?

-Waits for thread called "Defecate yourself."-

I lust for entropy and live on the precipe of doom.

I am completely broken. My redundant circuits continually process and reprocess information streams, resulting in overanalyzation.

I am unnaturally good at rock band drums.

I'm fat and stupid and socially inadequate.

People say I'm too quiet.
Maybe.

I don't like children.
I can't stand them.

i love too much

What do you love, Dave ?
Girls ?
Men ?
Pets ?

Other ?

I procrastinate too much when it comes to pursuing something meaningful and personally rewarding in my life.

Every single time I'm on the subway I scan the car and determine who I would have sex with and who I would not. Sometimes I play a game where I tell myself that I have to fuck at least five people in the car. If I'm lucky, there are enough hot chicks to go around. If not, I have to begrudgingly settle on a fatty or, fatties lacking, pick out a dude and go on an emotional rollercoaster.

I like giving girls massive facials and peeing on them (not simultaneously but I would like to try one after the other.)

Recently I've been downloading a lot of tranny porn. 9 times out of 10 it does nothing for me, but every now and then I come across one that looks like a lady through and through, and I'm all 'cool.' If futanari actually existed I believe I would have sex with one from time to time. Maybe become a mormon and marry a few ladies, and maybe two futanari.

I look at so much god damn hentai, it would sicken most church-going people.

I don't have a problem with violence when it is directed at the right people.

I have an MP3 of Natalie Imbruglia's 'Torn.'

i'm overly introverted but if i'm around people i know i tend to talk too much. i'm generally awkward and clumsy. i'm too nice sometimes.

I often want to be aggressively against people who are not nice, but i find myself chickening out and trying to make a joke out of it when i should have a go at the not nice people.

i joke too much sometimes

I've put on weight.

I find it hard to be at ease around people. Usually, I'm fighting my own nervousness until the point I'm really exhausted of it.